Let’s face it, nobody likes to hit the town solo. Especially when you’re going out specifically to socialize and well, meet women. We all could use a brother in arms We all could use a Goose for our Maverick. This is why it’s so important to have a good wing man. To have a friend who knows not only how to succeed with women but how to succeed in helping his fellow man taste the glory. Because what is life without a little sharing? Below I’ve compiled a list of six qualities that make the best wingman:
They’re Motivated
A good wing man is always challenging his friend to get in there and go for it. Similar to an athletic trainer, a wing pushes his friends to achieve the goals they want. Of course, you want your Mavericks full support in this tactic. Nobody wants help where they don’t think they need it. So motivate based on their level of desire to be motivated.
They Pay Attention
When your Maverick has started engaged in interaction with a group of women and his buddy joins, , a good wing will always allow his main man to be in the spotlight. As a wing, you always want your friend to shine and be the most important person in the conversation. At least for the first few moments where first impressions are being formed. This means letting him control the tone of the interaction and giving him room to speak and tell stories. Jealous? Don’t worry, he can be your Goose next time.
They Can Give Compliments
You should never kiss someones ass but playing the wingman, it never hurts to give your friend a little boost. A sincere compliment will make your friend’s percieved worth go up in the eyes of the ladies you’re interacting with. Compare it to bragging except rather than you bragging to yourself, you have another person doing it for you. Again, it doesn’t have to be over the top. A simple “this is one of the best guys you’ll ever meet” would suffice.
They Align With You
No matter what debates or arguments you’ve had in the past, when you’re wing is talking with women, always agree with him. Or better yet, avoid disagreeing with him. If you disagree with a friend in the presence of strangers, it takes value away from what he’s saying. Also by disagreeing with your brother in arms it can kill the momentum and flow of the conversation. So even if he tries to tell them The Notebook was a good movie, swallow your pride, bite your tongue and nod.
They Give Support
Not every interaction flows the way you would like and sometimes, your friend may need some direct assistance. Any time your Maverick hits a rut and allows a lull in the conversation, make it a point to step in and keep it going. This could mean quickly relating to something someone said, telling an unrelated story of your own or simply asking a question that would allow your Maverick to regain his step. “Hey, did you guys hear about the crazy fight outside? Well check this…”
They Deflect Friends and Make Their Own
Often times, women will travel in twos. There is nothing significant about this except for the fact that if your Maverick is talking with his Maverette, it leaves her friend alone by herself. You may not think of this as a problem, however when the best friend is looking bored and lonely, it puts a subtle pressure on the Maverette to go back to talking with her friend. This could mean the end of the interaction and the death of a romantic relationship. The solution to this dilemma is simple: While your Maverick is talking with his girl, no matter if you like her or not, deflect the bogey by engaging the ‘friend’ for as long as he needs. Sorry, dude, sometimes you have to take one for the team. But remember, doing this alleviates any pressure the Maverette may have to rejoin her friend.
I went out tonight with some friends, 4 of us to be exact, all fellas to take a look at a new club Glow that was opening in the heart of our downtown. The scene was good, my friends consider me someone who is focused on work 75% of the time, and as a guy with a girlfriend I enjoy the networking aspect of going out. I’m involved with a number of projects locally and online so lately my inspiration for going out has been to meet other business people, the money makers of our city.
I live in Bellingham WA, which according to Google has a population of 67,000, so it’s nothing like the space needle city to the south because everyone here knows someone else and their friend. Anyways I consider the guys I went out with to be true friends like Briddick, co-creator of Attractology, whom I spend a lot of time diving into the ideas of social dynamics with.
So here’s what happened. As two of my guy friends are having great conversations with two separate women the other guys I am with begin to criticize them. Isn’t that how it always works? Criticize the people who are putting themselves out there and taking a risk?
The first thought that crosses my mind INSTEAD of criticism is: ”What can I do to help them succeed?”
This is a very important question to ask because someone who is comfortable helping someone else is comfortable in themselves. I’ll state that again, helping others succeed will ONLY happen when someone is comfortable with who they are. Women know this. My reaction was to walk directly up to one of my friends, let him introduce me and then continue conversation with the group naturally. Then when there was a break in the conversation I brought up how good of a guy my friend is, gave him an accomplishment intro and some social proof and stepped away.
That was all it took. Are you comfortable enough to HELP your friends out?
