We are all searching for something. For everyone, it’s something different, but I think it can be boiled down to two things: fun and fulfillment. Let me explain. We live our lives searching for fun, to have fun times, fun experiences, just creating fun memories. Stories that will serve us for the rest of our lives. Anyway, as time goes by, I believe there is a shift in what we really seek out. Fun will always be a vital element, but pretty soon fulfillment is what we are really after. The challenge I face as a coach, is finding a healthy balance between the two. Some people I work with are tired of all the partying, and really want to ease into a nice long-term relationship that is more fulfilling. While others, may be getting out of a serious relationship and are striving to re-establish themselves in the dating scene and start having more fun in their life.Ask yourself, what am I really looking for right now? You may think you’re searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but in reality because you’re looking so hard for that person, or waiting for them to come along, you’re missing the fun you can be having as a strong, single, independent person. Conversely, if you’ve been in that long-term relationship for awhile, and it’s becoming a little stale, it may be time for a little relationship rejuvenation. Time to spark up some fun and spontaneity.
I challenge you to do this: live in the now, be present. If you want fun right now, then go out and get all you need, and if you are really looking for that something that fulfills you more than you have now, figure out what that is and go after it. Because there really is a deadline in life, and we are hurling towards it faster than we would like to believe. The point is whatever you’re looking for, do it with urgency and with abandon. You’ll never feel more alive.
It easy when first getting into this to read everything there is to read. That’s what I did when I began, it started with Neil Strauss’ The Game and lead to an interest in David DeAngelo, posts on Fast Seduction and now have I accumulated material from most other Guru’s; some of which has been useful information.
Side note:
We’ve been compiling some guru interviews to share but that’s for another post.
See, I approached learning about attraction with a fairly solid belief system intact but also an open mind willing to learn from experience. I feel both of these were critical for success. Sometimes what I was reading would challenge my belief system and when this would happen I would have three options.
- Instantly accept what I was reading over my own belief system
- Instantly accept my own belief over what I was reading
- Go out with an educated open mind and learn from the experience
I continue to chose number three.
Bluntly put, guys that don’t succeed are either too gullible or too stubborn to go out and challenge their belief system with the experience necessary to progress. Success will come from the combination of learning AND going out and being social, networking and leading a dynamic life.
To improve you must understand that progression will happen by reading but also doing. Here’s how. Read enough material to understand and challenge some of your ideas and beliefs without getting overwhelmed. Go out and practice making note of what gets good results, and then when you hit a sticking point come back and figure out what you can do to improve next time WITHOUT dwelling on the negative. Mastery in any subject is a series of plateaus, persistence is essential.
That’s it for now, but as we move into 2009 no time is better to set some expectations and real goals. Here are some goal setting tips I was just reviewing for myself, I find it valuable to set both personal and career related goals.
- Determine what you want to achieve
- Put the goal in writing
- Set a time deadline for the attainment of the goal
- Develop a plan and work the plan
- Visualize a successful result
- Maintain a positive attitude
- Measure your progress and make adjustments, where needed
- Persist until you reach your goal
