Last week we explored How to Avoid the Player Vibe When Approaching Women and there was a routine mentioned called the Engage- Disengage-Reengage (EDR) Technique which can be used to avoid ‘hitting on her’ and instead allow you to just seem like a fun, attractive guy.
This week we will be further exploring the Engage-Disengage-Reengage Technique, the theory behind it, how it works and why it has been so successful for many Social Artists out there.
Before we begin, I would like to personally endorse the EDR Technique and state that I have been using it for the past two-three years with tremendous success. It not only is one of my most favorite ways of opening up to individuals/groups but it also completely eliminates the “he’s hitting on me” vibe most guys unconsciously put off when approaching women.
So with that said, let us begin to explore the Engage-Disengage-Reengage (EDR) Technique and the fundamentals behind it.
Theory behind the EDR Technique:
The theory behind the EDR Technique is the following: when you enter a club and notice a woman (or group of women), chances are that she is going to be there for at least the next thirty minutes. The reasoning behind that is because when people go out, they usually stay at one location for the evening or if they do leave/bounce, it will be to a venue walking distance from the first venue.
With that said, why rush the interaction right away? If you know you have 30 + minutes to re-engage, then take your time and don’t worry about having to go through the whole social interaction process at one time; Break it up into pieces.
The key is to set up the field/venue from the minute you walk into the door by engaging as many groups as you can, this not only raises your social value but also give you multiple individuals/groups to pick from later.
Then you want to dis-engage them instantly by being the first to walk away from them to go see your other friend in the club. Do not be scared that you lost the girl/group because thirty minutes into the evening, you have your choice of sets to re-engage without coming off as a threat and you can pick and choose who YOU you’d to chat with.
Breakdown of the Engage / Dis-Engage / Re-Engage Technique:
Step 1 Engaging: Opening up as many sets as possible using a 5-second rule, ONLY opening…no hooks, no closes. Expecting NOTHING out of the initial interaction except having your presence felt.
Now when I say open, I do not mean using an opinion opener or “5-oceans” type opener.
You want to use something more simple and direct such as:
“You ladies have a fun night tonight (smiling)” – as you walk by them, raising your hand to give them a high-5, stop for a second to get a response from her (which is usually a simple High 5 back) and proceed to step 2.
Or
“Hey, I just wanna say…I really like your dress” – as you continue to walk by (Showing no interest- only complimenting her- nothing wrong with complimenting a girl) and then stop for a second (where she will usually say “Thank you”) and process to step 2.
Step 2 Dis-engaging: Tell the girl/group:
“Okay I need to go back to my friends but if you see me around later tonight then you better not be shy… I’mma expect a hug out of you!” (Smiling) as you roll off and are leaving the girl/group.
While most techniques teach us to open a set and stay in it as long as possible, the EDR Technique is unique in the sense that the main element is the fact that you have the ability to confidently walk away from a beautiful girl without worrying about missing out on an opportunity.
Step 3 Re-engaging: Re-open the girl/group later on in the evening by walking by them and simply saying:
“Its you again….where’s my hug?!?!!” (Smiling) as you hold your arm out expecting your hug; Do Not doubt yourself – she will give you a hug if you convey a sense of confidence and you did Step One properly. From there you can continue with a disqualifier or routine of your choice.
Or
“Heyyy I remember you!! So how’s the evening going?!?! Having fun?!?” (Smiling) as you hold your arm out expecting your hug. Once again, Do not doubt yourself- she will give you a hug.
From there you can continue your conversation with the girl/group and chances are they will be comfortable with you after talking to you multiple times that night already.
Benefits of The EDR Technique:
Not only does this routine work, it teaches us:
1) To open without the pressure of keeping the conversation going.
2) The ability to leave the set before she leaves the set.
3) Re-engaging later, getting a hug and being able to throw a hook the second time around.
4) Since you did not hit on them the first time, then the second time you met them, you will come off as non-threatening and it should be easier to use some hooks, routines, and so forth.
5) By instantly opening as many groups as possible when you first enter a venue, you are raising your value as well as giving you options to choose from rather then being stuck only in specific groups that you’ve opened and stayed in.
Try it out in the field and have fun with it…It works!
Until Next Time….
A question I am asked a lot is “How can I tell when a girl is interested in me?”. Sure, answers like “when you sense it” or “when you two have a connection” are vague and simple enough to appease most people, but lets break it down a little further.
First off, a good frame of mind is to assume she is always interested you. Not in a way that you are crossing boundaries or laying all your cards on the table, but having a confident mindset will work in your favor.
Physical Signs & Actions That She Might Be Interested
- She touches you
- She whispers something
- She tilts her head playfully
- She plays with her hair
- She laughs at your jokes
- She holds eye contact
- She asks you questions
- She is generally just more open to conversation
What to do when you get these signs?
Keep the conversation going; listen and respond to her. Mastering kino touch is essential. Know the difference between a sexual guy (good) and a horny guy (bad). A sexual guy isn’t afraid to talk about a sexual topic or make a joke – he calls an spade a spade – while a horny guy is needy of sex and actions are driven because of it. By having a good time, incorporating touch and giving her subtle signs you are interested too you will find yourself taking things further, more often.
