Conquering Approach Anxiety; the Fear of Approach

In order for you to be able to attract women, you have to meet them. And seeing that society is still built around the concept of man courting women and not the other way around, don’t expect the ladies will come knocking on your door in search of a boyfriend, lover, etc. Waiting around for a women to approach you is like waiting to win the lottery. It could happen but it’s very unlikely. And so rather than wait, we must 1) go out where women are and 2) approach them.

 

Approaching women can be one of the hardest things to do. As men, when we are out in the playing field we get what has been termed approach anxiety just when we see a women we would like to meet. This is physiological response that will often tell your mind “Don’t do it!!!” This response will cripple you if you don’t know how to combat it.

Has approach anxiety ever happened to you?

You see a women you want to meet. You start to take your first step her direction and instantly you start analyzing the ways in which it can go wrong and the ways you could be rejected. This creates the churning feeling in the pit of your stomach that lets you physically know you are vulnerable. Rather than embracing your vulnerability you decide to salvage your pride and not approach. To top it off, you back rationalize your decision telling yourself “I’ll approach next time” or “she probably has a boyfriend.”

In thinking about approaching you are accessing the logical, neo cortical part of your brain which triggers an emotional response. You have to learn to shut off the logical part of your brain just for a split second. That split second will buy you enough time to put your feet in motion towards the girl without weighing the consequences.

 

The way this is done is by following the 3 second rule (credit:Mystery) which states that you must approach the women you want to meet within in the first 3 seconds of noticing her. By doing this, you are “living in the now” and bypassing your logical thought process. Further, enabling you to move without thinking until you are already talking to the group. Which leads to the next step. Moving past approach anxiety and get into opening.

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