Social & Dating Coaching | Attractology » Identity http://www.attractology.com 'The subject you didn't learn in school' Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:48:09 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 5 Things You Do That’s Steering the Opposite Sex Away http://www.attractology.com/2012/01/5-steer-sex/ http://www.attractology.com/2012/01/5-steer-sex/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:07:21 +0000 Attractology http://www.attractology.com/?p=2053 We talk a lot about first impressions here at Attractology. There’s no getting around it, a first impression is the physical exterior that makes a statement about who you are (or who you might be) as an individual. Is your exterior telling people what you’re intending to say?
Here are five things you may be doing that are sending the wrong signals.

Men:
  • Ironic facial hair.
    • This statement has become huge in the past couple years. From bets, to Mustache March, or simply testing the lengths your facial hair can grow, this is one trend that will get the ladies running… the wrong way. Unless it’s for a good cause (Movember is a great organization and potentially a great conversation starter, just remember to wear something stating your efforts, and keep your stache to the appropriate month)… Shave. Women don’t have the same appreciation for a barbershop mustache like your friends do.
  • Statement Tees.
    • It may have seemed funny at the time of purchase, but your “FBI: Female Body Inspector” shirt is only telling women that you have a questionable sense of humor and a wandering eye.
      Instead, stick to classic solid tees, cut well to flatter your physique.
  • Comfort Gone Wrong.
    • There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable in your attire. But there are some things that are better saved for home, on the couch, on a lazy Sunday. These items may include (but are not limited to) sweatpants, Crocs, torn tee-shirts and sweatshirts, athletic jerseys, anything that you may consider your lucky ____ (and have subsequently over worn), and clothing with spots or stains.
  • Ignoring the details.
    • Yes, women will see those white socks you chose to hide under your slacks and oxfords. The small elements that you hoped no one will notice, is sadly something the female gender have a trained eye to see.
  • Faded and misfitting clothing.
    • Once your blacks begin to look like grey, the reds look like pinks, and the perfectly shaped sweater looks like it belongs to your little sister, it’s time to replace. There’s nothing wrong with getting the most out of your wardrobe investments, but learn to know when to let go.


Your physical appearance is not the only thing that women notice. Have an awareness of what your body language and actions are communicating. Are you making eye contact with the object of your affection (or interest)? Or are you constantly checking Facebook/texts/scores on your phone? Is your body positioned away from the person you’re interested in? Are you ordering drink after drink just to keep something in your hand? Sometimes the things we do out of nervousness or habit to pass the time are speaking louder than our own words.
Women:

  • Sour face.
    • When I go out anywhere in public, I’m always keeping an eye on how people interact.  I love to observe body language, and social dynamics as a whole.  One thing that I have noticed time after time, is the sour-faced girl.  You know exactly who I’m talking about.  She’s with a group of friends and because she looks like her favorite parakeet just died, she brings down the attractiveness and approachability of the entire group.  Why?  Because as a man, it can be intimidating enough to walk up to a group of girls, let alone, a group that has a gargoyle as a personal man-deterrent.  No one wants to deal with a sour-faced chick, so quit it.  You’re not only hurting yourself, you’re hurting your friends as well.


  • Weird makeup.
    • One of the advantages of being a gorgeous woman is that you get to enhance your natural beauty with makeup.  However, please make sure that you know what you’re doing.  A little goes a long way, and just the right amount is nothing short of sexy.  Just like you don’t want us to cologne-bomb you, don’t clown-face us.


  • Crazy Talk.
    • This should be a no-brainer, but as we get older and start to lug around more emotional baggage, it becomes more difficult to avoid what has happened in the past as a conversation topic or really anything too controversial.   Nothing will make a sane person run in the opposite direction faster than questions like “You won’t hurt me will you?”  “How many kids do you want?  I want five.”  “I’m still good friends with all my ex-boyfriends, is that weird?”  or my personal favorite “Do you like cats?”


  • The Stalker.
    • In this day and age, everyone has a ton of information about them on the internet.  I get that some of you want to be friends on Facebook before you really get the chance to know that dude you just met.  You want some social-proof on a guy before you move forward.  Understandably, you want to make sure he’s not married, have kids, worship Satan, or whatever else you can pick up from an online profile.  Fair enough.  However, if you know what he is doing at all times due to social media, and bring it up in conversation casually like “How was karaoke last Tuesday at ____________, and who were those girls you were with?”  Don’t get hurt when he freaks the f*ck out.


  • Sluts.
    • Kind of like fast food value meals, they sound better than they really are.  Guys, keep your standards up.  Unless you think you really found love, and we won’t judge you here, try to keep the sluts to a minimum.  Girls won’t respect you because they don’t respect guys that go for girls that don’t respect themselves.   Girls, if you’re just looking for fun, that’s totally fine.  However, if you’re looking for a fulfilling relationship, try to be respectable and keep it classy.  Because there is nothing hotter than a woman who values herself.

 

Don’t feel bad if you’re guilty of any of these.  No one is perfect and these are just tips to help you along your path to love and a fulfilling relationship.   However, if you are guilty of more than three of these things, please contact us ASAP and we will help you!!!   Thanks for reading.

 

Tyler & Carina

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2012/01/5-steer-sex/feed/ 5 Fun vs. Fulfillment http://www.attractology.com/2011/12/fun-fulfillment/ http://www.attractology.com/2011/12/fun-fulfillment/#comments Tue, 13 Dec 2011 05:35:13 +0000 Attractology http://www.attractology.com/?p=2012 We are all searching for something.  For everyone, it’s something different, but I think it can be boiled down to two things: fun and fulfillment.  Let me explain.  We live our lives searching for fun, to have fun times, fun experiences, just creating fun memories.  Stories that will serve us for the rest of our lives.  Anyway, as time goes by, I believe there is a shift in what we really seek out.  Fun will always be a vital element, but pretty soon fulfillment is what we are really after.  The challenge I face as a coach, is finding a healthy balance between the two.  Some people I work with are tired of all the partying, and really want to ease into a nice long-term relationship that is more fulfilling.  While others, may be getting out of a serious relationship and are striving to re-establish themselves in the dating scene and start having more fun in their life.
Ask yourself, what am I really looking for right now?  You may think you’re searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but in reality because you’re looking so hard for that person, or waiting for them to come along, you’re missing the fun you can be having as a strong, single, independent person.  Conversely, if you’ve been in that long-term relationship for awhile, and it’s becoming a little stale, it may be time for a little relationship rejuvenation.  Time to spark up some fun and spontaneity.
Here is the good news, it’s possible to have both.  AND you can start doing it and feeling it right now.  Think about something that would make you feel alive.  What is it?  It doesn’t take much before that buzz, that vitality is something we need more and more of.  Can you sustain it?  Can you sustain it in your relationship?  You have to be inspired and motivated, so find out what it is that inspires and motivates you.  It’s different for everyone.  Here’s an example, let’s say you’re deathly afraid to fly, and you have an international trip planned in 6 months, airfare and accommodations purchased.  Well, instead of just being terrified that you’ll be flying soon, what if you used that fear to make sure you start living your life to the fullest until the time you have to climb aboard that flight?  We seem to find a lot more urgency in our lives when there is a deadline, and for a lot of us we forget that there is always a huge deadline looming, but we forget because we don’t exactly know when our time is up.

I challenge you to do this: live in the now, be present.  If you want fun right now, then go out and get all you need, and if you are really looking for that something that fulfills you more than you have now, figure out what that is and go after it.  Because there really is a deadline in life, and we are hurling towards it faster than we would like to believe.  The point is whatever you’re looking for, do it with urgency and with abandon.  You’ll never feel more alive.

 

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2011/12/fun-fulfillment/feed/ 0 Seven Ways to Live, Laugh and Be More in 2010 http://www.attractology.com/2010/01/live-laugh-2010-2/ http://www.attractology.com/2010/01/live-laugh-2010-2/#comments Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:50:09 +0000 Attractology http://www.attractology.com/?p=1549

Set Your Goals

writing-goals1

In recent years, I’ve found goal setting to be one of the most productive activities you can do for yourself. In my experience, rather than rattle off thirty things you think you want, start with a single word.  What would you like to embody in 2010?  What’s your 2010 theme?  In terms of myself, I chose the word ‘give’ because I want to make this year about giving as much possible to the people who come into my life.  From there, apply it to every facet of your life especially in the places where you could use improvement.  What are you financial goals for 2010?  What are your health goals of 2010?  What are your spiritual goals of 2010?  What are your love life goals of 2010?  Write them down, print them out and share them with everyone. As Robert Cialdini writes in Influence, we as people want to appear as committed and as consistent as possible.  By sharing your goals with the world, you go the extra lengths to reach the finish line.

Love Your Body (by treating it right)

female-empowerment
Love your frigging body.  That’s right, every wrinkle and roll, birth mark and receding hair line should be treated as your best friend. This sounds absurd I know, but only when you truly start to love your body do you actually take the time to nourish, restore, and take care of it.  How you physically look and feel is up to you. It’s all decisions.  What to put in your body, how often you work out, even how you hold yourself is controlled by your thinking.  Yes, you should eat healthy!  Yes, you should work out on a regular basis!  But if the same patterns have been repeating themselves year after year, it’s time to change the way you look by first changing the way you think. In 2010, it’s time to love your body! If you got it flaunt it and if you don’t, flaunt that too.

Learn a New Skill

learnsomethingnew
Whether it’s something you’ve carried on from 2009 or something new altogether, decide on something you’d like to delve into for the new year. New skills are essential for a balanced life and if you aren’t learning something, it becomes impossible to improve. I’m reminded of the time I shattered my leg in a soccer game, which left me bitter and immobilized for a good three weeks until I finally decided to pick up the guitar.  Today, five years later, playing the guitar has become one of my most cherished pastimes. One of the perks of taking on a new skill is that it opens new doors and often takes you down a path you haven’t yet traveled. New friends, comies, tamunitlents and life callings can all emerge from taking on something new.

Side Note:   I highly recommend the book Masteryby George Leonard which breaks down the essentials for mastering anything you do in life.

Take Big Actions

take-big-action

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of doing something big.  Whether that be organizing a fundraiser for AIDS, traveling to Asia, skydiving, writing a book or even putting together a book club, do something that you know will test the boundaries of your comfort zone and ultimately make you a better person.  This can vary from person to person and only you can know what your boundaries are. The best way to start this process is to put together a list of things you want to do before you die.  Don’t be afraid to let your imagination go wild.  Often times the craziest, most outlandish things can be accomplished when you make a commitment to go for it.  I remember my first time traveling to Central America by myself thinking ‘what the hell am I doing?’ only to return a changed person with a new perspective on life (not to mention an endless obsession with traveling).  Life is meant to be lived, so live it to the fullest.

Build Key Relationships

key-relationships
You become who you associate with for better or worse. A famous quote once said “eagles will soar with other eagles while chickens will scavenge the ground with other chickens for scraps.”  Our habits, thoughts and emotional energies are highly susceptible to the influences of those around us. Hence the reason the rich (in material and spirit) hang out with the rich and the poor with the poor. If we’re to succeed in 2010, we need to to be around people who will challenge us, keep us accountable and ultimately make us smile. A good start is connecting up with people you admire or you aspire to be like.  If you think they’re out of reach, think again. Almost everyone I’ve contacted who I assumed was too big time for me, was happy to connect with a like mind.  The biggest challenge is picking up the phone and dialing. So if you’ve got fingers and a voice, start making key contacts in 2010.

Live Spiritually

meditation1

Whether you follow a specific religion or you simply enjoy spending time out in nature it’s important to have purpose in your life and feel connected to the rest of the world. Studies show people who engage in some form of spiritual activity rate themselves as significantly happier and more fulfilled than those who are not.  A common misconception is that you must be religious to be spiritual and this is completely false.  Spirituality is a relationship between yourself and the rest of the world, religion is simply the backstory.  Depending on what you’d like to accomplish and how you’d like to do it, there are endless ways to engage in spiritual ritual.  As I cannot appeal to everyone I’ll simply suggest what I do;  meditate for 15 minutes a day and reflect daily for what I’m thankful for. That’s it folks!  Clearing the mind always shows you what’s important in life and allows you to act from a place of love and gratitude rather than bitterness and contempt.

Hustle Hard, Play Hard

play-hard

Whatever you’re doing, doing it 110%.  I know I sound like your high school gym coach but this is a biggie. Working hard and playing hard is nothing more than immersing all of yourself into what you’re doing in that particular moment.  Where people often struggle is that gray area where they’re working but they’re thinking about what it would be like to be sipping Mai Tais on the beach.  As a result there work ethic struggles.  The opposite is common as well where someone who’s life has revolved around working, takes a vacation and can only think about what they need to get done when they work.  This gray zone is never enjoyable because it is alway trying to escape what’s happening right now. Through obsessing about the future or dwelling over the past, it’s impossible to live fully.  Fortunately, the cure is simple; engage yourself fully in whatever you’re doing whether it be grinding out this quarters financials or lounging in a hammock off the coast of Panama!
]]> http://www.attractology.com/2010/01/live-laugh-2010-2/feed/ 0 Vlog: Transparency http://www.attractology.com/2009/05/vlog-transparency/ http://www.attractology.com/2009/05/vlog-transparency/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 18:52:31 +0000 Briddick http://www.attractology.com/?p=1209  

 

Also check out the company I was talking about ‘tatango’  here 

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2009/05/vlog-transparency/feed/ 0 Things You Should Know When MEETING WOMEN http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/meeting-women/ http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/meeting-women/#comments Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:30:28 +0000 Attractology http://www.attractology.com/?p=840

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/meeting-women/feed/ 12 Vlog: Inner Game and Life Standards http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/vlog-game-life-standards/ http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/vlog-game-life-standards/#comments Tue, 17 Feb 2009 02:14:55 +0000 Briddick http://www.attractology.com/?p=706

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/vlog-game-life-standards/feed/ 1 How to Become an Attractive Person http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/game-embracing-insecurities/ http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/game-embracing-insecurities/#comments Thu, 05 Feb 2009 07:52:29 +0000 Briddick http://www.attractology.com/?p=650

]]> http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/game-embracing-insecurities/feed/ 0 Dear Newbie: How To Improve Faster http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/dear-newbie-improve-faster/ http://www.attractology.com/2009/02/dear-newbie-improve-faster/#comments Sat, 31 Jan 2009 23:40:48 +0000 Gabe Hoggarth http://www.attractology.com/wp/?p=355 It easy when first getting into this to read everything there is to read.  That’s what I did when I began, it started with Neil Strauss’ The Game and lead to an interest in David DeAngelo, posts on Fast Seduction and now have I accumulated material from most other Guru’s; some of which has been useful information. 

Side note:

We’ve been compiling some guru interviews to share but that’s for another post.

See, I approached learning about attraction with a fairly solid belief system intact but also an open mind willing to learn from experience.  I feel both of these were critical for success.  Sometimes what I was reading would challenge my belief system and when this would happen I would have three options.

  1. Instantly accept what I was reading over my own belief system
  2. Instantly accept my own belief over what I was reading
  3. Go out with an educated open mind and learn from the experience

I continue to chose number three.

Bluntly put, guys that don’t succeed are either too gullible or too stubborn to go out and challenge their belief system with the experience necessary to progress.  Success will come from the combination of learning AND going out and being social, networking and leading a dynamic life.

To improve you must understand that progression will happen by reading but also doing.  Here’s how.  Read enough material to understand and challenge some of your ideas and beliefs without getting overwhelmed.  Go out and practice making note of what gets good results, and  then when you hit a sticking point come back and figure out what you can do to improve next time WITHOUT dwelling on the negative.  Mastery in any subject is a series of plateaus, persistence is essential.

That’s it for now, but as we move into 2009 no time is better to set some expectations and real goals.  Here are some goal setting tips I was just reviewing for myself, I find it valuable to set both personal and career related goals.

  • Determine what you want to achieve
  • Put the goal in writing
  • Set a time deadline for the attainment of the goal
  • Develop a plan and work the plan
  • Visualize a successful result
  • Maintain a positive attitude
  • Measure your progress and make adjustments, where needed
  • Persist until you reach your goal
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