In recent years, I’ve found goal setting to be one of the most productive activities you can do for yourself. In my experience, rather than rattle off thirty things you think you want, start with a single word. What would you like to embody in 2010? What’s your 2010 theme? In terms of myself, I chose the word ‘give’ because I want to make this year about giving as much possible to the people who come into my life. From there, apply it to every facet of your life especially in the places where you could use improvement. What are you financial goals for 2010? What are your health goals of 2010? What are your spiritual goals of 2010? What are your love life goals of 2010? Write them down, print them out and share them with everyone. As Robert Cialdini writes in Influence, we as people want to appear as committed and as consistent as possible. By sharing your goals with the world, you go the extra lengths to reach the finish line.
Love Your Body (by treating it right)
Love your frigging body. That’s right, every wrinkle and roll, birth mark and receding hair line should be treated as your best friend. This sounds absurd I know, but only when you truly start to love your body do you actually take the time to nourish, restore, and take care of it. How you physically look and feel is up to you. It’s all decisions. What to put in your body, how often you work out, even how you hold yourself is controlled by your thinking. Yes, you should eat healthy! Yes, you should work out on a regular basis! But if the same patterns have been repeating themselves year after year, it’s time to change the way you look by first changing the way you think. In 2010, it’s time to love your body! If you got it flaunt it and if you don’t, flaunt that too.
Learn a New Skill
Whether it’s something you’ve carried on from 2009 or something new altogether, decide on something you’d like to delve into for the new year. New skills are essential for a balanced life and if you aren’t learning something, it becomes impossible to improve. I’m reminded of the time I shattered my leg in a soccer game, which left me bitter and immobilized for a good three weeks until I finally decided to pick up the guitar. Today, five years later, playing the guitar has become one of my most cherished pastimes. One of the perks of taking on a new skill is that it opens new doors and often takes you down a path you haven’t yet traveled. New friends, comies, tamunitlents and life callings can all emerge from taking on something new.
Side Note: I highly recommend the book Masteryby George Leonard which breaks down the essentials for mastering anything you do in life.
Take Big Actions
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of doing something big. Whether that be organizing a fundraiser for AIDS, traveling to Asia, skydiving, writing a book or even putting together a book club, do something that you know will test the boundaries of your comfort zone and ultimately make you a better person. This can vary from person to person and only you can know what your boundaries are. The best way to start this process is to put together a list of things you want to do before you die. Don’t be afraid to let your imagination go wild. Often times the craziest, most outlandish things can be accomplished when you make a commitment to go for it. I remember my first time traveling to Central America by myself thinking ‘what the hell am I doing?’ only to return a changed person with a new perspective on life (not to mention an endless obsession with traveling). Life is meant to be lived, so live it to the fullest.
Build Key Relationships
You become who you associate with for better or worse. A famous quote once said “eagles will soar with other eagles while chickens will scavenge the ground with other chickens for scraps.” Our habits, thoughts and emotional energies are highly susceptible to the influences of those around us. Hence the reason the rich (in material and spirit) hang out with the rich and the poor with the poor. If we’re to succeed in 2010, we need to to be around people who will challenge us, keep us accountable and ultimately make us smile. A good start is connecting up with people you admire or you aspire to be like. If you think they’re out of reach, think again. Almost everyone I’ve contacted who I assumed was too big time for me, was happy to connect with a like mind. The biggest challenge is picking up the phone and dialing. So if you’ve got fingers and a voice, start making key contacts in 2010.
Live Spiritually
Whether you follow a specific religion or you simply enjoy spending time out in nature it’s important to have purpose in your life and feel connected to the rest of the world. Studies show people who engage in some form of spiritual activity rate themselves as significantly happier and more fulfilled than those who are not. A common misconception is that you must be religious to be spiritual and this is completely false. Spirituality is a relationship between yourself and the rest of the world, religion is simply the backstory. Depending on what you’d like to accomplish and how you’d like to do it, there are endless ways to engage in spiritual ritual. As I cannot appeal to everyone I’ll simply suggest what I do; meditate for 15 minutes a day and reflect daily for what I’m thankful for. That’s it folks! Clearing the mind always shows you what’s important in life and allows you to act from a place of love and gratitude rather than bitterness and contempt.
Hustle Hard, Play Hard
Whatever you’re doing, doing it 110%. I know I sound like your high school gym coach but this is a biggie. Working hard and playing hard is nothing more than immersing all of yourself into what you’re doing in that particular moment. Where people often struggle is that gray area where they’re working but they’re thinking about what it would be like to be sipping Mai Tais on the beach. As a result there work ethic struggles. The opposite is common as well where someone who’s life has revolved around working, takes a vacation and can only think about what they need to get done when they work. This gray zone is never enjoyable because it is alway trying to escape what’s happening right now. Through obsessing about the future or dwelling over the past, it’s impossible to live fully. Fortunately, the cure is simple; engage yourself fully in whatever you’re doing whether it be grinding out this quarters financials or lounging in a hammock off the coast of Panama!
It easy when first getting into this to read everything there is to read. That’s what I did when I began, it started with Neil Strauss’ The Game and lead to an interest in David DeAngelo, posts on Fast Seduction and now have I accumulated material from most other Guru’s; some of which has been useful information.
Side note:
We’ve been compiling some guru interviews to share but that’s for another post.
See, I approached learning about attraction with a fairly solid belief system intact but also an open mind willing to learn from experience. I feel both of these were critical for success. Sometimes what I was reading would challenge my belief system and when this would happen I would have three options.
Instantly accept what I was reading over my own belief system
Instantly accept my own belief over what I was reading
Go out with an educated open mind and learn from the experience
I continue to chose number three.
Bluntly put, guys that don’t succeed are either too gullible or too stubborn to go out and challenge their belief system with the experience necessary to progress. Success will come from the combination of learning AND going out and being social, networking and leading a dynamic life.
To improve you must understand that progression will happen by reading but also doing. Here’s how. Read enough material to understand and challenge some of your ideas and beliefs without getting overwhelmed. Go out and practice making note of what gets good results, and then when you hit a sticking point come back and figure out what you can do to improve next time WITHOUT dwelling on the negative. Mastery in any subject is a series of plateaus, persistence is essential.
That’s it for now, but as we move into 2009 no time is better to set some expectations and real goals. Here are some goal setting tips I was just reviewing for myself, I find it valuable to set both personal and career related goals.
Determine what you want to achieve
Put the goal in writing
Set a time deadline for the attainment of the goal
Develop a plan and work the plan
Visualize a successful result
Maintain a positive attitude
Measure your progress and make adjustments, where needed
