Here are five things you may be doing that are sending the wrong signals.
Men:
- Ironic facial hair.
- This statement has become huge in the past couple years. From bets, to Mustache March, or simply testing the lengths your facial hair can grow, this is one trend that will get the ladies running… the wrong way. Unless it’s for a good cause (Movember is a great organization and potentially a great conversation starter, just remember to wear something stating your efforts, and keep your stache to the appropriate month)… Shave. Women don’t have the same appreciation for a barbershop mustache like your friends do.
- Statement Tees.
- It may have seemed funny at the time of purchase, but your “FBI: Female Body Inspector” shirt is only telling women that you have a questionable sense of humor and a wandering eye.
Instead, stick to classic solid tees, cut well to flatter your physique. - Comfort Gone Wrong.
- There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable in your attire. But there are some things that are better saved for home, on the couch, on a lazy Sunday. These items may include (but are not limited to) sweatpants, Crocs, torn tee-shirts and sweatshirts, athletic jerseys, anything that you may consider your lucky ____ (and have subsequently over worn), and clothing with spots or stains.
- Ignoring the details.
- Yes, women will see those white socks you chose to hide under your slacks and oxfords. The small elements that you hoped no one will notice, is sadly something the female gender have a trained eye to see.
- Faded and misfitting clothing.
- Once your blacks begin to look like grey, the reds look like pinks, and the perfectly shaped sweater looks like it belongs to your little sister, it’s time to replace. There’s nothing wrong with getting the most out of your wardrobe investments, but learn to know when to let go.
Your physical appearance is not the only thing that women notice. Have an awareness of what your body language and actions are communicating. Are you making eye contact with the object of your affection (or interest)? Or are you constantly checking Facebook/texts/scores on your phone? Is your body positioned away from the person you’re interested in? Are you ordering drink after drink just to keep something in your hand? Sometimes the things we do out of nervousness or habit to pass the time are speaking louder than our own words.
Women:
- Sour face.
- When I go out anywhere in public, I’m always keeping an eye on how people interact. I love to observe body language, and social dynamics as a whole. One thing that I have noticed time after time, is the sour-faced girl. You know exactly who I’m talking about. She’s with a group of friends and because she looks like her favorite parakeet just died, she brings down the attractiveness and approachability of the entire group. Why? Because as a man, it can be intimidating enough to walk up to a group of girls, let alone, a group that has a gargoyle as a personal man-deterrent. No one wants to deal with a sour-faced chick, so quit it. You’re not only hurting yourself, you’re hurting your friends as well.
- Weird makeup.
- One of the advantages of being a gorgeous woman is that you get to enhance your natural beauty with makeup. However, please make sure that you know what you’re doing. A little goes a long way, and just the right amount is nothing short of sexy. Just like you don’t want us to cologne-bomb you, don’t clown-face us.
- Crazy Talk.
- This should be a no-brainer, but as we get older and start to lug around more emotional baggage, it becomes more difficult to avoid what has happened in the past as a conversation topic or really anything too controversial. Nothing will make a sane person run in the opposite direction faster than questions like “You won’t hurt me will you?” “How many kids do you want? I want five.” “I’m still good friends with all my ex-boyfriends, is that weird?” or my personal favorite “Do you like cats?”
- The Stalker.
- In this day and age, everyone has a ton of information about them on the internet. I get that some of you want to be friends on Facebook before you really get the chance to know that dude you just met. You want some social-proof on a guy before you move forward. Understandably, you want to make sure he’s not married, have kids, worship Satan, or whatever else you can pick up from an online profile. Fair enough. However, if you know what he is doing at all times due to social media, and bring it up in conversation casually like “How was karaoke last Tuesday at ____________, and who were those girls you were with?” Don’t get hurt when he freaks the f*ck out.
- Sluts.
- Kind of like fast food value meals, they sound better than they really are. Guys, keep your standards up. Unless you think you really found love, and we won’t judge you here, try to keep the sluts to a minimum. Girls won’t respect you because they don’t respect guys that go for girls that don’t respect themselves. Girls, if you’re just looking for fun, that’s totally fine. However, if you’re looking for a fulfilling relationship, try to be respectable and keep it classy. Because there is nothing hotter than a woman who values herself.
Don’t feel bad if you’re guilty of any of these. No one is perfect and these are just tips to help you along your path to love and a fulfilling relationship. However, if you are guilty of more than three of these things, please contact us ASAP and we will help you!!! Thanks for reading.
Tyler & Carina
We are all searching for something. For everyone, it’s something different, but I think it can be boiled down to two things: fun and fulfillment. Let me explain. We live our lives searching for fun, to have fun times, fun experiences, just creating fun memories. Stories that will serve us for the rest of our lives. Anyway, as time goes by, I believe there is a shift in what we really seek out. Fun will always be a vital element, but pretty soon fulfillment is what we are really after. The challenge I face as a coach, is finding a healthy balance between the two. Some people I work with are tired of all the partying, and really want to ease into a nice long-term relationship that is more fulfilling. While others, may be getting out of a serious relationship and are striving to re-establish themselves in the dating scene and start having more fun in their life.Ask yourself, what am I really looking for right now? You may think you’re searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but in reality because you’re looking so hard for that person, or waiting for them to come along, you’re missing the fun you can be having as a strong, single, independent person. Conversely, if you’ve been in that long-term relationship for awhile, and it’s becoming a little stale, it may be time for a little relationship rejuvenation. Time to spark up some fun and spontaneity.
I challenge you to do this: live in the now, be present. If you want fun right now, then go out and get all you need, and if you are really looking for that something that fulfills you more than you have now, figure out what that is and go after it. Because there really is a deadline in life, and we are hurling towards it faster than we would like to believe. The point is whatever you’re looking for, do it with urgency and with abandon. You’ll never feel more alive.
Set Your Goals
In recent years, I’ve found goal setting to be one of the most productive activities you can do for yourself. In my experience, rather than rattle off thirty things you think you want, start with a single word. What would you like to embody in 2010? What’s your 2010 theme? In terms of myself, I chose the word ‘give’ because I want to make this year about giving as much possible to the people who come into my life. From there, apply it to every facet of your life especially in the places where you could use improvement. What are you financial goals for 2010? What are your health goals of 2010? What are your spiritual goals of 2010? What are your love life goals of 2010? Write them down, print them out and share them with everyone. As Robert Cialdini writes in Influence, we as people want to appear as committed and as consistent as possible. By sharing your goals with the world, you go the extra lengths to reach the finish line.
Love Your Body (by treating it right)
Learn a New Skill
Side Note: I highly recommend the book Masteryby George Leonard which breaks down the essentials for mastering anything you do in life.
Take Big Actions
Build Key Relationships
Live Spiritually
Hustle Hard, Play Hard
Also check out the company I was talking about ‘tatango’ here
It easy when first getting into this to read everything there is to read. That’s what I did when I began, it started with Neil Strauss’ The Game and lead to an interest in David DeAngelo, posts on Fast Seduction and now have I accumulated material from most other Guru’s; some of which has been useful information.
Side note:
We’ve been compiling some guru interviews to share but that’s for another post.
See, I approached learning about attraction with a fairly solid belief system intact but also an open mind willing to learn from experience. I feel both of these were critical for success. Sometimes what I was reading would challenge my belief system and when this would happen I would have three options.
- Instantly accept what I was reading over my own belief system
- Instantly accept my own belief over what I was reading
- Go out with an educated open mind and learn from the experience
I continue to chose number three.
Bluntly put, guys that don’t succeed are either too gullible or too stubborn to go out and challenge their belief system with the experience necessary to progress. Success will come from the combination of learning AND going out and being social, networking and leading a dynamic life.
To improve you must understand that progression will happen by reading but also doing. Here’s how. Read enough material to understand and challenge some of your ideas and beliefs without getting overwhelmed. Go out and practice making note of what gets good results, and then when you hit a sticking point come back and figure out what you can do to improve next time WITHOUT dwelling on the negative. Mastery in any subject is a series of plateaus, persistence is essential.
That’s it for now, but as we move into 2009 no time is better to set some expectations and real goals. Here are some goal setting tips I was just reviewing for myself, I find it valuable to set both personal and career related goals.
- Determine what you want to achieve
- Put the goal in writing
- Set a time deadline for the attainment of the goal
- Develop a plan and work the plan
- Visualize a successful result
- Maintain a positive attitude
- Measure your progress and make adjustments, where needed
- Persist until you reach your goal
