Many times individuals get so immersed into their daily routine of waking up, going to work or school, coming home, watching television and going to bed only to continue that same routine for the next five days that they often start neglecting their social lives and become robots to the daily grind of life.

Fortunately for us here at Attractology, we understand the importance of having a social life and how valuable it can be not only for a fun time but also for the wellness and happiness of an individual.

This week we would like to spend some time discussing five different ways how we can expand our social lives by meeting new interesting people and at the same time, increasing our own value in life.

Before we go explore these five avenues of expanding our social circle, it is important that we do not ignore a common feeling that may arise for some of us. In our efforts to meet new people, it may be uncomfortable in the beginning but you need to believe in yourself and never doubt yourself for one second. The only way to expand your social life is to start making an effort to put yourself out there. Remember to never doubt yourself.

Five Ways to Expand Your Social Circle

Sports Leagues

Joining a sports league in your area is a great way to meet people who have similiar interests as you and also a great way to stay in shape. Often times going to the gym can become repetitive and boring so why not mix it up and participate in another physical workout activity (such as soccer, football, baseball) which also involves interacting with other individuals.

If you do not know where to start, one good place is a website called Sportsvite -(http://sportsvite.com/) which allows you to find different leagues in your area or even start up your own. Another great resource is a local newspaper which can be found at any supermarket, newspaper stand or coffee shop.

Join a Music School

Signing up to learn an instrument at a local music school is an amazing way to add value into your life and also meet new people. There is an assumption made throughout the public that music schools only have one on one teaching (Student with Teacher) but there are many schools which offer group classes where there are anywhere from 3-10 students per class and is often much cheaper too. You may be surprised on how fun it can be and making music with others is a unique and special way to form a bond with individuals.

One great resource to find a music school in your area is AboutMusicSchool -(www.aboutmusicschools.com/), which supplies you with all the basic information you need to know about choosing an instrument, which music school to go too and also where to find them.

Participating at Local Charity Events

One of the best ways to meet great people and also give back to the community is to start participating in charity events in your city or surrounding cities; and since charity events tend to be a group of people working together to serve one cause, it should be no problem interacting with people! Not only will you walk away feeling like a better person, you will also have met many amazing individuals in your community who do not isolate themselves.

If you are unsure what’s happening in your area then simply pick up a local newspaper or get on the internet and type “Charity Events in (Your City)”. Also feel free to check out a site called Charity Happenings (www.CharityHappenings.org) which gives a listing of a variety of charity nonprofits across the United States.

Classes at a Community College

Signing up for any classes that interests you at a community college is often one of the best ways to meet people that often gets overlooked. A majority of the friends we’ve met throughout our lives we’ve either met in school or at our jobs so why not go back to one of the main sources of meeting people and enroll in a class at a local college.
Learning a new language, taking a class on 18th century art, enrolling in a yoga class, or getting your masters is an instant way to add value into your life and also put yourself out there to expand your social circle.

The great things about community colleges are that they are easy to enroll in, very affordable and a great way to make classmates into good friends. Community colleges can be found in every city so ask around and take a trip to your local college to register for a class!

Networking/Mixer Events

Going to “networking mixer” event in your area can be a great way to get a hybrid of your professional life tied into your social life. A majority of events have cocktails, appetizers and tables set up where individuals can mix and mingle in a professional environment and is perfect if you want to get away from the nightlife scene.
A majority of the people at these types of events will be professionals from your area who are looking to network with others so the opportunity to met new people couldn’t be higher – People are there specially to meet you!

Check out sites such as Networkingeventfinders.com, Netparty.com, or meetup.com to get an invite to your next networking event, don’t miss out!

Once you start involving yourself in extra-circular activities, you will start meeting people and then after your soccer game, guitar class or art history class, you and your new colleagues can all go get a few drinks at a local bar, get to know each other on a more personal level and really start to expand your social circle.

Another suggestion is to throw a BBQ for your newly found friends with a themed party where: “everyone has to bring someone else from the opposite sex” or something fun like that.

The goal is for you to be an individual who knows a lot of people and is always willing to put yourself out there. Make it a point to be social everywhere you go.

If you are at the market – talk to the casher; if you are going for a walk around the block – say “Hi” to everyone that passes you by.

Point is – Be Social!

Being Social = an expanded social circle

So don’t waste a single second, go online, get a local newspaper, get out there and see what activities you are going on in your area…now is the time! Once you have some extra-circular activities going on in your life where you can expand your social circle, then you will be ready for the next steps…

Much Respect Forever &Whenever…

Neel

Set Your Goals

In recent years, I’ve found goal setting to be one of the most productive activities you can do for yourself. In my experience, rather than rattle off thirty things you think you want, start with a single word.  What would you like to embody in 2010?  What’s your 2010 theme?  In terms of myself, I chose the word ‘give’ because I want to make this year about giving as much possible to the people who come into my life.  From there, apply it to every facet of your life especially in the places where you could use improvement.  What are you financial goals for 2010?  What are your health goals of 2010?  What are your spiritual goals of 2010?  What are your love life goals of 2010?  Write them down, print them out and share them with everyone. As Robert Cialdini writes in Influence, we as people want to appear as committed and as consistent as possible.  By sharing your goals with the world, you go the extra lengths to reach the finish line.

Love Your Body (by treating it right)

Love your frigging body.  That’s right, every wrinkle and roll, birth mark and receding hair line should be treated as your best friend. This sounds absurd I know, but only when you truly start to love your body do you actually take the time to nourish, restore, and take care of it.  How you physically look and feel is up to you. It’s all decisions.  What to put in your body, how often you work out, even how you hold yourself is controlled by your thinking.  Yes, you should eat healthy!  Yes, you should work out on a regular basis!  But if the same patterns have been repeating themselves year after year, it’s time to change the way you look by first changing the way you think. In 2010, it’s time to love your body! If you got it flaunt it and if you don’t, flaunt that too.

Learn a New Skill

Whether it’s something you’ve carried on from 2009 or something new altogether, decide on something you’d like to delve into for the new year. New skills are essential for a balanced life and if you aren’t learning something, it becomes impossible to improve. I’m reminded of the time I shattered my leg in a soccer game, which left me bitter and immobilized for a good three weeks until I finally decided to pick up the guitar.  Today, five years later, playing the guitar has become one of my most cherished pastimes. One of the perks of taking on a new skill is that it opens new doors and often takes you down a path you haven’t yet traveled. New friends, comies, tamunitlents and life callings can all emerge from taking on something new.

Side Note:   I highly recommend the book Mastery by George Leonard which breaks down the essentials for mastering anything you do in life.

Take Big Actions

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of doing something big.  Whether that be organizing a fundraiser for AIDS, traveling to Asia, skydiving, writing a book or even putting together a book club, do something that you know will test the boundaries of your comfort zone and ultimately make you a better person.  This can vary from person to person and only you can know what your boundaries are. The best way to start this process is to put together a list of things you want to do before you die.  Don’t be afraid to let your imagination go wild.  Often times the craziest, most outlandish things can be accomplished when you make a commitment to go for it.  I remember my first time traveling to Central America by myself thinking ‘what the hell am I doing?’ only to return a changed person with a new perspective on life (not to mention an endless obsession with traveling).  Life is meant to be lived, so live it to the fullest.

Build Key Relationships

You become who you associate with for better or worse. A famous quote once said “eagles will soar with other eagles while chickens will scavenge the ground with other chickens for scraps.”  Our habits, thoughts and emotional energies are highly susceptible to the influences of those around us. Hence the reason the rich (in material and spirit) hang out with the rich and the poor with the poor. If we’re to succeed in 2010, we need to to be around people who will challenge us, keep us accountable and ultimately make us smile. A good start is connecting up with people you admire or you aspire to be like.  If you think they’re out of reach, think again. Almost everyone I’ve contacted who I assumed was too big time for me, was happy to connect with a like mind.  The biggest challenge is picking up the phone and dialing. So if you’ve got fingers and a voice, start making key contacts in 2010.

Live Spiritually

Whether you follow a specific religion or you simply enjoy spending time out in nature it’s important to have purpose in your life and feel connected to the rest of the world. Studies show people who engage in some form of spiritual activity rate themselves as significantly happier and more fulfilled than those who are not.  A common misconception is that you must be religious to be spiritual and this is completely false.  Spirituality is a relationship between yourself and the rest of the world, religion is simply the backstory.  Depending on what you’d like to accomplish and how you’d like to do it, there are endless ways to engage in spiritual ritual.  As I cannot appeal to everyone I’ll simply suggest what I do;  meditate for 15 minutes a day and reflect daily for what I’m thankful for. That’s it folks!  Clearing the mind always shows you what’s important in life and allows you to act from a place of love and gratitude rather than bitterness and contempt.

Hustle Hard, Play Hard

Whatever you’re doing, doing it 110%.  I know I sound like your high school gym coach but this is a biggie. Working hard and playing hard is nothing more than immersing all of yourself into what you’re doing in that particular moment.  Where people often struggle is that gray area where they’re working but they’re thinking about what it would be like to be sipping Mai Tais on the beach.  As a result there work ethic struggles.  The opposite is common as well where someone who’s life has revolved around working, takes a vacation and can only think about what they need to get done when they work.  This gray zone is never enjoyable because it is alway trying to escape what’s happening right now. Through obsessing about the future or dwelling over the past, it’s impossible to live fully.  Fortunately, the cure is simple; engage yourself fully in whatever you’re doing whether it be grinding out this quarters financials or lounging in a hammock off the coast of Panama!

Lets face it, first dates can be scary. The good news is that there are variety of things you can do to make a first date go smoothly. There are also a few things to avoid doing! There’s nothing worse than accidentally sending the wrong signals when it’s someone you really like!

What’s up guys (and ladies), you know it’s funny when we started this site about 95%  of our visitors were men but now we are getting more and more females which goes to show how much this stuff is relevant to both sexes.  What dating, relationship, and confidence issues men go through, women  go through as well, just in a slightly different way.  That being said, the topic that I want to talk about today applies just as much to women as it does  for men; sex.  And more importantly when to have it.

Now, if you’re a long time veteran in the dating advice community, you’ll recognize there is a lot of different advice out there.  Some schools of thought teach men to have sex with a woman as quickly as possible to solidify their role as the alpha dog.  Other schools of thought including our good friend Marni from DWD teach their students to wait up to 60 days before having sex with a person.  Now, I’m not going to give a specific timeline as to which of these is better.  In my opinion, these are both extremes. And really, when you have sex boils down to what you’re looking for and that particular relationship.  However, keep in mind sex is the most intimate act two people can participate in and the time frame that it happens in can dictate the terms of the relationship.

For example, let’s say you go out to the bar, have a few drinks, meet a sexy brunette and the two of you completely hit it off!  So much that you end up going home together and having sex.  The relationship you’ve developed with this person will have been built purely on appearances and the influence of booze  leaving to rest the emotional connection and trust needed for romantic intimacy.  While your post coitus may make you crave a sandwich, women are  instantly reminded of this lacking, creating discomfort and even the occasional awkwardness.  Damn oxytocin! Additionally, you could find when you try to reconnect with this woman she’s reluctant to see you.  ”Does he just want to have sex with me?  Will it be awkward when I see him?” are common questions running through a woman’s head when she’s rushed a  sexual relationship with a guy and now he’s trying to hang out again.  So you can see, having sex too soon can be a bad thing.

On the other side of the coin, waiting months to get physical with someone can also not be good.  Too much of an emotional relationship without the physical and you’re in store for a new BFF!  This is where a lot of guys get hung up in that they enjoy hanging out with a woman but they don’t want to ruin it by making a move.  Really, by not making a move they are slowing ruining it for themselves.  Ideally, romantic intimacy is built when both the emotional and physical connection are aligned and on the same track!  And after the trust, emotional understanding and boundaries are developed then have sex. Generally this happens on date 3 or 4 but when you’re dealing with attraction, dating, and  social dynamics, every rule is meant to be broken.

Read more about topic in Foundations

As a side note, recognize I’m no saint in this area and have been on both sides of the spectrum of not waiting long enough and waiting too long to where something platonic has developed.   I don’t want to appear as preachy or like I’m infallible or above anyone because I am definitely not and have made just as many (if not more) mistakes as the next person. But as a human being,  all we can do is try to implement what we feel is right today.  When tomorrow comes, we’ll deal with that then.  Until next time,

Cheers,

Briddick

p.s I’d love to hear what you guys think about this topic.  Most everyone has had some experience here. So let’s hear it!

What’s up guys!  So I was listening to some of Eben Pagan’s audio tapes this weekend and he brought up this really great point of creating some

form of content every single day.  So what I’ve decided to do is to do a little blog every morning.  This will be all free writing with an occasional edit as my ADD addled brain can get off on some pretty crazy  tangents but here goes.  Lately, I can’t help but feel there is one thing that separates the wheat from the chaff when it comes to success with women, money, and overall  abundance.

This one thing isn’t hard to do. In fact, it’s relatively easy but for a lot of us, we can’t do it!  What is it you ask?  Taking some form of action.  Putting your feet in motion and doing what it is you most you fear.  You see that sexy blonde walking into Starbucks and really you only have two options;  you can recede to the editorial in your head and say “I should go talk to her”  or before you get a chance to think about the possible

outcomes, you open your mouth and say “hello.”  Now, how many times have you taken the latter route? How many times have you seen something or someone that made you want to take action but you receded to your mind instead?  I know I’ve done it more than a few times.  Hell, I even still do it now and again.

The power of your mind can dicate what you do and do not do! The good news is, there’s always an opportunity to take action every single day.  You aren’t an eternal wussy.  You aren’t any (insert self defeating noun). Those are only words your ego’s used to identify with.  But they they sure as hell are not you. More so, you’re a product of habit. Your thinking, behavior, success and non success is purely driven by the subtle day to day habits you engage in. That’s brilliant news.  Because that means the more you approach woman, the easier it will be to approach women.

The more you’re able to show a woman who you really are without putting on a self censored, superficial cool, the more natural it will become to create an emotional connection. It’s all habit.  Not a genetic trait.  Not something you are eternally bound by or not.  So, that being said, I’ve got one task for you today.  I want you to approach at least three people today and simpy start a conversation with “hello.”  If that’s all you say, that’s fine.  But start today building the habit of action.  Tomorrow, we’ll deal with that then!  Until next time,

Cheers to the good life,

Briddick

Question: Hey Briddick ,first off  thanks for your great advice. I called her and set up the first date in a cafe. Now to my questions: what

should I do to keep this spark sizzling as far as the first date is concerned? In other words, what would be the best plan for the first date?

Answer:  The first date is going to be the ice breaker.  It’s where you both get to feel one another out. My suggestion is this
1) Don’t put any expectations on the outcome.  It can be easy to play out in your head the date going a certain way and if it doesn’t, you could get discouraged and thrown off.  That being said, make a promise to yourself that no matter how she acts you’re going to have fun.  This is so important.  Woman want a guy who’s FUN! And also, if she throws a curveball (which probably won’t happen)  you’ll be ready and be able to adapt accordingly.

2) Don’t try to impress her.  She’s already agreed to go on a date with you which means she already has some initial interest in you.  A lot of men try too hard to say the right things.  Just be yourself and don’t worry if you say something uncool or goofy. Your natural uninhibited self is your best self

3)Have a couple of stories you can relate to and talk about. What do you like to do?  What interesting things can you talk about in your life.  If often quiet and tend to run out of things to say with people spend a half hour before the date just talking out loud.  Read a book. Sing a song.  Get out of your head and become comfortable articulating your thoughts and speaking about your life.

4) Ask interesting questions.  As it’s a first date you’re probably going to get the run of the mill (what do you do?  where are you from?) interview type questions.  It’s inevitable. But try mixing it up as well and dig deeper by asking “how did it make you feel when….)  or what was it like when X? Good questions can open the conversation flood gates and allow to really get to KNOW someone.

5) Listen to her.  Don’t just pretend to listen.  Actually hear what she has to say, understand where’s coming from and try to feel what she feels when she’s speaking.  Empathy allows you to connect with another person on a very intimate leve.  From her listening ask relevant questions (ie omg what was the like? Was it hard for you when you ____) etc

6) Make good eye contact.  The window to the soul is in the eyes.  When speaking and listening don’t be afraid to hold her gaze just a little bit longer than normal. Believe it or not,  attraction alone can be generated from making the right kind of eye contact.

7) Dress to impress.  Don’t wear something you wouldn’t normally wear.  But sport your finest threads.  All the little things make a difference.  This also includes grooming- shower, floss, teeth, hair, etc.  You want to take care of everything that is in your control and how you look is 100% in your hands.

Cheers,

Briddick

So I was recently asked the question on how to properly receive a kiss without being overwhelmed with the other persons wandering tongue.  She said: Whenever I kiss someone, somehow I always end up with their tongue in my mouth, even if that’s not what I had originally thought was going to happen. They never force it in, which makes me think that I’ve been just going in and opening my mouth for them without even realizing it, even for a first kiss. I’d like to try having a kiss without the tongue, especially for a first kiss, and make things a little more sensual and a little less slobbery.

This young woman is one of several women who have been victims of what I call a “mouth raping.”  She poses an important question regarding kissing, and that is: how much, is too much… tongue? And more importantly, how do I avoid it?  More men and women are skipping the foreplay and getting right to business and I mean this both literally and figuratively; we live in a society that breeds instant gratification and neglects one of the most fundamental areas of sexual chemistry and connection: and that is patience.  When the sexual tension builds, and builds, and builds until you both find yourself giving into the moment and going in for the kiss with all guns blazing you leave yourself wide open for a full blown tongue molestation.  So how do you avoid it?

Before you go in for the smooch, you can pop on Lionel Richie’s  ’Don’t You Ever Go Away’  or you can read the following:

Speed

When you feel like this kind of passion is boiling up, when the tea kettle is starting to scream, then SLOW DOWN.  Take the energy between you and make it a romantic energy.  If you can go in for the kiss slow, gentle, and controlled then the kiss is more likely to be similar.  A great way to do this is to stare into his/her eyes for a few seconds, put one of your hands on the back of their neck, and take a few more seconds and drag this sexual tension out.  (This is what I call the DRAG OUT PHASE).  You let them know that you want to kiss them (you can do this by looking at their lips) but you also let them know that it’s going to happen on your time.  This is where you can really set the tone and let them know that you are in CONTROL.  Because when they do go in for the kiss, you can do what I call the BACK OFF PHASE.  This is when you get so close to kissing them that there is no room for words between each of your lips; you linger here at this distance for a moment.  The distance is key here, because it’s close enough to where they know you’re thinking about kissing them but you’re not, and that’s when you BACK OFF playfully with a smile.  You can do this a few times, each time, slowing it down even more!  It makes that passionate sexual energy (physical attraction) transform into a deeper connection (emotional attraction): one where comfort is developed through respecting your control and your ability to be playful and intimate at the same time.  By the time you kiss, their following your lead and loving every second of it.

In life, everything is that much better when we have to work for it.  So why not make the first kiss something that they have to work for!

Tenderness

Every good kiss has a feeling behind it.  Whether that’s a sexually driven one, a kind one, a sad one, a passionate one, or a tender one, a great kiss should make you feel differently after having done it.  Often time I’ll hear various philosophies about how a kiss can elevate you and your partner’s energies to another realm; regardless, we can come to an agreement that a great kiss is one that leaves you feeling connected to your partner on more than just a physical mouth to mouth level.

Our intent certainly plays itself out in the way that we kiss.  So, if you want to reach those higher realms, to create a connection beyond the physical, then it’s important to embody a TENDER feeling behind your kiss.  This means that you allow yourself to become vulnerable to the moment that the two of you are in, to trust it, and feel comfort that they’re going to kiss you in the same way that you’re kissing them.  If you can embody TENDERNESS then it’s truly a fascinating thing how powerfully and naturally receptive your partner will be to this energy.  Good kissers, will pick up on it and reciprocate it, and connect with you on that superior level.

If you’re familiar with Richie’s music then you would know that he said these words three stanzas down:

“Kiss, when it’s SLOW with TENDERNESS…”

Either Lionel Richie has kissed some ‘mouth rapists’ or he’s just way ahead of the kissing game, either way, if you’re tongue happy or keep getting tongue happy partners, then I hope you enjoy our advice.  Go out and kiss to your hearts desire!

To Your Success,

Mason

Well guys, it’s been months in the making and I can finally say the fruits of our labor have paid off aka WE’VE FINISHED and released Foundations.  This is so incredible. You have no idea what this means to me.  Especially after spending thousands of hours working on this thing, I can finally say YES, it’s done.

The interesting thing is, I didn’t write this book for other people.  I wrote it for myself as an expression of what I’ve learned and gone through over the last few years.  I know guys are going to read this thing and go WOW, this is incredible, not because I’m showing them something they’ve never dealt with but rather because it explains thed WHY!  Why do some guys have a great deal of success with women while others do not? Why do women flock to men who are ALREADY surrounded by women?  Why and how do our thoughts determine real life outcomes?  These are all questions, I’ve pondered and can thankfully say UNDERSTAND and have HARNESSED.

But more importantly, and this is something you’ll learn if you haven’t already is that nothing is as powerful as giving value.   Our net worth is never determined by what we have but by what we can give.  And this is true in everything in life including attraction, relationships, finance, etc.  Though we’re charging for this book, I know the value exceeds the price ten fold.  We’re talking about some life changing ideas here!  Anyhow, check out the book.  Read a free chapter here.  If you enjoy it, then I guarentee you’ll like the book.

Cheers to the good life,

Briddick