Men:

So you’ve gone out to a high class lounge for the evening with a group of good buddies. Midway through the evening you started talking to a beautiful woman and were successfully able to captivate her interest and and then ultimately get her number!

All the years spent on learning the fundamentals of attraction are finally paying off and the format you’ve been following is finally clicking! Hooorah!

But now what?!

That is a question that many men ask once they have successfully gone through the initial steps.

This week we will be exploring some simple tips and tricks you can use when making that first phone call with a girl and once that has been fully internalized, then we will take it step further and elaborate on how to set up a date with her in next weeks newsletter.

We here at Attractology firmly believe that it is a good idea to call a girl within two days of initially meeting her. Many men have the common belief (possibly from the movie Swingers) that you should wait six-seven days before calling a girl but that simply is too long to wait. You want the girl to remember you while it is still fresh in her mind and also keep the ball rolling before it loses momentum so it is highly recommended that you call that special girl within two days of meeting her.

Yes, there may be a little nervousness/anxiety when making that first call, but you need to consistently remind yourself that you are an Alpha-Male, the leader of men and know how to keep a conversation going with anyone.

So what do you do?

Your main objective during the initial phone conversation should be to build additional comfort and trust so you can eventually invite her to meet face to face on a date.

One tip that you may want to consider doing is writing out a list of topics you may potentially want to discuss and using the list as a guideline throughout your conversation. Nothing is worse than having an awkward pause for a few seconds/minutes where no one knows what to say. I don’t recommend relying on this technique all the time but just temporarily until you get more comfortable carrying a conversation effortlessly.

Another thing to keep in mind is not to spend hours on the phone with a girl, that’s what her girlfriends are for! Plus if you’re going to speak, why not just do it in person?

A guideline you may consider following in the beginning is a simple format as this:

1) Fun/Teasing Introduction – “Hey Lil Miss Vino! This is that real awesome guy you met at “X” lounge last night!“ (Something you teased her about when you first met her or something you remember about her which made her unique)

2) Ask what she is doing and tease her again on it (if possible). A simple example could be: “oh your cooking!! Sure you don’t have a BOTTLE of wine next to you as well“ or something playful like that.

3) Ask “what you been up too?” or “how’s your day going? Anything interesting happen?!?! Intrigue me with a fun story!” – Challenge her, stimulate her mind, and make her think by asking for an “intriguing story/event” throughout her day. Yes you can def. ask “what you been up too? Or “how’s your day going” but also take it a step further and ask her to tell you something unique about her day.

If she has nothing unique to tell you, then playfully tease her and say: “You need to start spending more time with me! I always have unique interesting events that happen throughout the day…for example, just today I was at………….” and go into a story about something interesting that happened to you that day.

4) Hopefully she asks you how your day was (which they usually do). When she does, you should spend a few minutes elaborating on her question and try going into a story/conversation that demonstrates value for yourself.

For example:

“Oh my day was good…busy at work but during lunch I want to the most amazing sandwich place and the owner was kind enough to give me a free desert because he said he liked my vibe. Hahhaha random but hey..can’t refuse to free food =)”

Or

“My day was amazing! Woke up and went for a nice walk with my dog, had a very productive day at work and went to this new sandwich place with a friend and in the evening got my kickboxing class in and relaxed when I got home with a glass of wine and my guitar”

5) Whatever story you go into, try somehow incorporating her into it, disqualifying her (if possible) during the story and later try to make her qualify herself to you. Not as much as you would do in person but just a small little disqualification could be thrown in there.

6) Find out what her plans are for the rest of the day/week and end the conversation by saying “well hey…maybe we can hit up that sandwich place later this week if it works with both of our schedules. I need to run right now because I’m going to help my friend move out of her apartment (gives yourself value) but lets def. touch base later on this week!” – ALWAYS try making it a point to end the conversation before she does. It shows that YOU have stuff to do and that your time is very valuable.

When you end the conversation, you now have an “open loop” or another reason to touch bases with her again (the sandwich place) later on in the week. We will go into further depth about “seeding” in the following weeks but you have essentially “seeded” an event for the future with her.

The format mentioned above is only a basic guideline to follow when you are first starting to have phone conversations with women. You will notice that the more you begin to talk to women on the phone, the more comfortable you will become on carrying conversations until it finally becomes internalized in you and becomes second nature.

There may be anxiety at first but the only way to succeed and take steps forward is to put yourself out there and do it. Always remember: NEVER doubt yourself.

Until Next Time….

Many times individuals get so immersed into their daily routine of waking up, going to work or school, coming home, watching television and going to bed only to continue that same routine for the next five days that they often start neglecting their social lives and become robots to the daily grind of life.

Fortunately for us here at Attractology, we understand the importance of having a social life and how valuable it can be not only for a fun time but also for the wellness and happiness of an individual.

This week we would like to spend some time discussing five different ways how we can expand our social lives by meeting new interesting people and at the same time, increasing our own value in life.

Before we go explore these five avenues of expanding our social circle, it is important that we do not ignore a common feeling that may arise for some of us. In our efforts to meet new people, it may be uncomfortable in the beginning but you need to believe in yourself and never doubt yourself for one second. The only way to expand your social life is to start making an effort to put yourself out there. Remember to never doubt yourself.

Five Ways to Expand Your Social Circle

Sports Leagues

Joining a sports league in your area is a great way to meet people who have similiar interests as you and also a great way to stay in shape. Often times going to the gym can become repetitive and boring so why not mix it up and participate in another physical workout activity (such as soccer, football, baseball) which also involves interacting with other individuals.

If you do not know where to start, one good place is a website called Sportsvite -(http://sportsvite.com/) which allows you to find different leagues in your area or even start up your own. Another great resource is a local newspaper which can be found at any supermarket, newspaper stand or coffee shop.

Join a Music School

Signing up to learn an instrument at a local music school is an amazing way to add value into your life and also meet new people. There is an assumption made throughout the public that music schools only have one on one teaching (Student with Teacher) but there are many schools which offer group classes where there are anywhere from 3-10 students per class and is often much cheaper too. You may be surprised on how fun it can be and making music with others is a unique and special way to form a bond with individuals.

One great resource to find a music school in your area is AboutMusicSchool -(www.aboutmusicschools.com/), which supplies you with all the basic information you need to know about choosing an instrument, which music school to go too and also where to find them.

Participating at Local Charity Events

One of the best ways to meet great people and also give back to the community is to start participating in charity events in your city or surrounding cities; and since charity events tend to be a group of people working together to serve one cause, it should be no problem interacting with people! Not only will you walk away feeling like a better person, you will also have met many amazing individuals in your community who do not isolate themselves.

If you are unsure what’s happening in your area then simply pick up a local newspaper or get on the internet and type “Charity Events in (Your City)”. Also feel free to check out a site called Charity Happenings (www.CharityHappenings.org) which gives a listing of a variety of charity nonprofits across the United States.

Classes at a Community College

Signing up for any classes that interests you at a community college is often one of the best ways to meet people that often gets overlooked. A majority of the friends we’ve met throughout our lives we’ve either met in school or at our jobs so why not go back to one of the main sources of meeting people and enroll in a class at a local college.
Learning a new language, taking a class on 18th century art, enrolling in a yoga class, or getting your masters is an instant way to add value into your life and also put yourself out there to expand your social circle.

The great things about community colleges are that they are easy to enroll in, very affordable and a great way to make classmates into good friends. Community colleges can be found in every city so ask around and take a trip to your local college to register for a class!

Networking/Mixer Events

Going to “networking mixer” event in your area can be a great way to get a hybrid of your professional life tied into your social life. A majority of events have cocktails, appetizers and tables set up where individuals can mix and mingle in a professional environment and is perfect if you want to get away from the nightlife scene.
A majority of the people at these types of events will be professionals from your area who are looking to network with others so the opportunity to met new people couldn’t be higher – People are there specially to meet you!

Check out sites such as Networkingeventfinders.com, Netparty.com, or meetup.com to get an invite to your next networking event, don’t miss out!

Once you start involving yourself in extra-circular activities, you will start meeting people and then after your soccer game, guitar class or art history class, you and your new colleagues can all go get a few drinks at a local bar, get to know each other on a more personal level and really start to expand your social circle.

Another suggestion is to throw a BBQ for your newly found friends with a themed party where: “everyone has to bring someone else from the opposite sex” or something fun like that.

The goal is for you to be an individual who knows a lot of people and is always willing to put yourself out there. Make it a point to be social everywhere you go.

If you are at the market – talk to the casher; if you are going for a walk around the block – say “Hi” to everyone that passes you by.

Point is – Be Social!

Being Social = an expanded social circle

So don’t waste a single second, go online, get a local newspaper, get out there and see what activities you are going on in your area…now is the time! Once you have some extra-circular activities going on in your life where you can expand your social circle, then you will be ready for the next steps…

What’s up guys!  So I was listening to some of Eben Pagan’s audio tapes this weekend and he brought up this really great point of creating some

form of content every single day.  So what I’ve decided to do is to do a little blog every morning.  This will be all free writing with an occasional edit as my ADD addled brain can get off on some pretty crazy  tangents but here goes.  Lately, I can’t help but feel there is one thing that separates the wheat from the chaff when it comes to success with women, money, and overall  abundance.

This one thing isn’t hard to do. In fact, it’s relatively easy but for a lot of us, we can’t do it!  What is it you ask?  Taking some form of action.  Putting your feet in motion and doing what it is you most you fear.  You see that sexy blonde walking into Starbucks and really you only have two options;  you can recede to the editorial in your head and say “I should go talk to her”  or before you get a chance to think about the possible outcomes, you open your mouth and say “hello.”  Now, how many times have you taken the latter route?  How many times have you seen something or someone that made you want to take action but you receded to your mind instead?  I know I’ve done it more than a few times.  Hell, I even still do it now and again.

The power of your mind can dicate what you do and do not do! The good news is, there’s always an opportunity to take action every single day.  You aren’t an eternal wussy.  You aren’t any (insert self defeating noun). Those are only words your ego’s used to identify with.  But they they sure as hell are not you. More so, you’re a product of habit. Your thinking, behavior, success and non-success is purely driven by the subtle day to day habits you engage in. That’s brilliant news.  Because that means the more you approach women, the easier it will be to approach women.

The more you’re able to show a woman who you really are without putting on a self-censored, superficial cool, the more natural it will become to create an emotional connection. It’s all habit.  Not a genetic trait.  Not something you are eternally bound by or not.  So, that being said, I’ve got one task for you today.  I want you to approach at least three people today and simpy start a conversation with “hello.”  If that’s all you say, that’s fine.  But start today building the habit of action.  Tomorrow, we’ll deal with that then!  Until next time,

Cheers to the good life!

Question: Hey Briddick ,first off  thanks for your great advice. I called her and set up the first date in a cafe. Now to my questions: what

should I do to keep this spark sizzling as far as the first date is concerned? In other words, what would be the best plan for the first date?

Answer:  The first date is going to be the ice breaker.  It’s where you both get to feel one another out. My suggestion is this
1) Don’t put any expectations on the outcome.  It can be easy to play out in your head the date going a certain way and if it doesn’t, you could get discouraged and thrown off.  That being said, make a promise to yourself that no matter how she acts you’re going to have fun.  This is so important.  Woman want a guy who’s FUN! And also, if she throws a curveball (which probably won’t happen)  you’ll be ready and be able to adapt accordingly.

2) Don’t try to impress her.  She’s already agreed to go on a date with you which means she already has some initial interest in you.  A lot of men try too hard to say the right things.  Just be yourself and don’t worry if you say something uncool or goofy. Your natural uninhibited self is your best self

3)Have a couple of stories you can relate to and talk about. What do you like to do?  What interesting things can you talk about in your life.  If often quiet and tend to run out of things to say with people spend a half hour before the date just talking out loud.  Read a book. Sing a song.  Get out of your head and become comfortable articulating your thoughts and speaking about your life.

4) Ask interesting questions.  As it’s a first date you’re probably going to get the run of the mill (what do you do?  where are you from?) interview type questions.  It’s inevitable. But try mixing it up as well and dig deeper by asking “how did it make you feel when….)  or what was it like when X? Good questions can open the conversation flood gates and allow to really get to KNOW someone.

5) Listen to her.  Don’t just pretend to listen.  Actually hear what she has to say, understand where’s coming from and try to feel what she feels when she’s speaking.  Empathy allows you to connect with another person on a very intimate leve.  From her listening ask relevant questions (ie omg what was the like? Was it hard for you when you ____) etc

6) Make good eye contact.  The window to the soul is in the eyes.  When speaking and listening don’t be afraid to hold her gaze just a little bit longer than normal. Believe it or not,  attraction alone can be generated from making the right kind of eye contact.

7) Dress to impress.  Don’t wear something you wouldn’t normally wear.  But sport your finest threads.  All the little things make a difference.  This also includes grooming- shower, floss, teeth, hair, etc.  You want to take care of everything that is in your control and how you look is 100% in your hands.

Cheers,

Briddick

I’m going to jump back to the basics here because lately I’ve been seeing a reoccuring problem with an easy fix. These are three problem areas that help a woman reject you no matter what you have to say. We all get lazy sometimes but if you haven’t already taken care of these three basics you aren’t trying.

Teeth & Breath

There’s a saying out there that “if you can’t fix it, flaunt it”.  Have a space in your teeth? Tell a funny story about it. Physical features that can’t be fixed make great stories that build rapport and create connections.

That said teeth are a main area that we all tend to look at when we talk to each other. Do you have yellow teeth? Brush your teeth more and buy some over the counter whitening strips. It is easy to recognize lack of care in teeth and it is worth the simple investment of time and money. Also pick up a bottle of mouth wash, the burning means you don’t have to worry about breathing death on her and she might even thank you for it.

Scent

Does this need an explanation?  There are lots of products out there, invest in some body scrub, deoderarnt and a few different colognes to keep smelling good at all times.

Shoes

Shoes vary depending on the occasion and your style but new shoes get noticed and old shoes get shunned. It should be obvious that it’s time to let go of the sneakers with the grass stains and broken laces. Invest in something that defines your style and makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Visit this page for more sticking points.

Flirt with the right body language

Flirt by being playful

Flirt with the tease

Flirt with the ‘wrong response’

Flirt with misinterpretation

Flirt with touch

If you haven’t read part 1 click here

MASON FACTO numero tres

Our world, from indigenous tribes in Africa, to the booming lights and corners of New York City and Japan, share a common belief about masculinity and femininity for children growing up.  We share the belief that boys should do boy things like hunt, fish, play sports, play with toy trucks and trains, and that girls should do girl things, like playing with dolls, makeup, playing house, toiling over the relationship between Barbie and Ken, playing out scenarios of being a princess,  or having prince charming come sweep them off of their feet.  We dress our boys in blues and blacks, and our girls in pinks and yellows.  And though this isn’t the case for every girl and boy, the psychological development for women is such that they are more emotionally adept when it comes to love and relationships.  Simply put, women have been thinking about this ‘love’ game for a lot longer than the typical male and the world we live in reinforces this emotional development.

‘The Smotherer’ doesn’t recognize this, and shows his discomfort in becoming vulnerable.  He demonstrates this by being overly possessive, worrying about every little thing that the woman does.  If she goes out with her friends, he’s worried about who she’s with and who she talked to or danced with.  If she doesn’t call him back at exactly the time that she said she would, he freaks out and calls her, asking in a crazed panic “Is everything OK? I thought maybe you were hurt.  You didn’t call me ten minutes ago like you said and I got scared.”  If she spoke spanish she would probably say to herself “senor es muy loco! Adios chico.”  ‘The Smotherer’ checks her Facebook and gets worried when other men write on her wall or are tagged in pictures next to her.  He makes the woman feel like she has to walk a tight rope, a rope that is one inch thick, stretched for miles across two high towers, and the more that she has to balance, the quicker she’s going to jump off, leave, or fall.

MY ADVICE

When you find yourself feeling jealous, or worried that the woman you like is doing things behind your back, take a deep breath, relax, and tell yourself “everything is going to be fine, these feelings are not helping me, I’m going to let them pass and not affect my mood, or my interactions with her or anyone else.”  What she does is out of your control, and out of respect for her, have a little faith, even if it’s at first blind.

‘The Persistent Guy’ trusts that there is a reason for the woman he likes to do whatever it is that she does.  If she wants to spontaneously elope to Cabo San Lucas for a week, then he doesn’t get worried or put too much thought into the motivation for doing so.  He says, “take some pictures at El Squidroe for me doing the Cha Cha.”  If she doesn’t call when she says she will, then he doesn’t get upset with her, but when they do hang out again, he makes a point to tell her that being flaky is not an attractive quality.  He has standards, but these standards run parallel with his understanding of a woman’s need for independence.  He doesn’t play games and flake out back to spite her.

Becoming Vulnerable

‘The Persistent Guy’ realizes that becoming vulnerable will happen naturally, and his persistence is done in pursuing the moments and opportunities for vulnerability and connection to occur.  He pursues a woman without overwhelming her, paying close attention to how much space she needs while recognizing that too much space will give her the opportunity to be with somebody else.  Attractive women get hit on every day, and because of this, she will meet men who actually do know what they’re doing (even though a majority are clueless).  This is where the persistence pays off, because it’s given him time to establish a connection beyond the bar; ‘The Persistent Guy’ separates himself by creating more opportunities to experience a natural connection, so when she does get approached by somebody who knows what he’s doing, it won’t matter.

Learn to Swim

We can relate this to learning how to swim.  The best way to learn how to swim, is to dip your feet in the water, familiarize yourself with the new sensual feeling of being wet and weightless, and as you become more comfortable with the water, you can slowly move deeper and deeper, until finally you can lift up your feet and swim.  Conversely, if you jump into the deep end of a pool and start to drown, something ‘The Smotherer’ might do, then chances are that it will take you much more time to learn how to swim afterward; scared that you may be in harms way the next time you get in the water.  Allowing yourself to be vulnerable works the same way, so be careful with who you let your guard down with, but also be open to the idea and let it happen.

If you’re falling for somebody, and part of you feels like all odds are against you, try not to make any serious or long term decisions.  Instead, be careful and patient.  Take it slow when you decide to open up with somebody, and try your best to just let things take their natural course.

MASON FACTO numero cuatro

It is a natural phenomena for both men and women to come on STRONGER when the person they love begins to back off.  Backing off is a way of saying, ‘Dude, I need some space,’ therefore the best course of action is to let your partner have her space and take this time for yourself, exploring your own space.  Make plans, and keep yourself busy so that you don’t end up sitting in your bed holding a picture of the two of you together, watching the Titanic, balling your eyes out when Kate and Leo part ways in the sea. Yikes!

Think about this in terms of the boundaries you hold over your own physical space, sometimes called a personal bubble.  If someone stands too close, you may feel closterphobic or uncomfortable, wishing that the person would take a step back, and conversely if somebody is standing too far away, you will find it difficult to hear them and may feel somewhat disconnected.  Imagine being in an elevator with one other person, and they stand too close to you.  As you converse with them, you take a step back but they don’t see your discomfort and step forward toward you again.  Instead of listening to what they say, you glance up anxiously at the floor count, counting down the seconds you can get away from this person.  It’s a very basic concept, when she needs some space, let her have it.

In conclusion, whether you see yourself as ‘The Persistent Guy’ or ‘The Smotherer,’ it’s important to recognize that attraction, courtship, and love all move along a track with no set speed limit.  You may be driving a Black Lamborghini, with black rims, and a cream white interior, and your girl is driving a beat up Ford Pinto with an lighting bolt sticker etched on the rear bumper.  If this is the case then you need to slow down to a speed that she can ride next to you comfortably. The speed on this track is dictated by both partners’ understanding of each other’s readiness to move forward combined with the natural flow.  Like an elegant dance created by two people, whereby you take two step forwards, and she takes two backward, she then pulls you to the side, so you move to the side with her; the timing in each step is dictated by the other person.  Learn to move with her and not against her and you won’t be hearing answering machines, you’ll be kicking back your feet in a foreign country sipping mojitos with the lady of your dreams.