Complete Seduction Structure Guide
| Meet... Attract... Connect... Seduce. | |||||||||
| Exclusively on Attractology | |||||||||
The entire pick-up from meeting a women to starting a sexual relationship happens in four basic escalatory phases. It is unclear as to who actually discovered this process but it is fact that it was popularized by Erik Von Markovik who goes by Mystery. Regardless, nearly every single model and method for attracting women has an origin in Mystery’s MM (despite some claiming otherwise). There are variations to this progression but this is the basic process of meeting and attracting women of exceptional beauty.
Meet
Action and Approach Anxiety In order for you to be able to attract women, you have to meet them. And seeing that society is still built around the concept of man courting women and not the other way around, don’t expect the ladies will come knocking on your door in search of a boyfriend, lover, etc. Waiting around for a women to approach you is like waiting to win the lottery. It could happen but it’s very unlikely. And so rather than wait, we must 1) go out where women are and 2) approach them. Approaching women can be one of the hardest things to do. As men, when we are out in the playing field we get what has been termed approach anxiety just when we see a women we would like to meet. This is physiological response that will often tell your mind “Don’t do it!!!” This response will cripple you if you don’t know how to combat it. Has approach anxiety ever happened to you? You see a women you want to meet. You start to take your first step her direction and instantly you start analyzing the ways in which it can go wrong and the ways you could be rejected. This creates the churning feeling in the pit of your stomach that lets you physically know you are vulnerable. Rather than embracing your vulnerability you decide to salvage your pride and not approach. To top it off, you back rationalize your decision telling yourself “I’ll approach next time” or “she probably has a boyfriend.”
In thinking about approaching you are accessing the logical, neo cortical part of your brain which triggers an emotional response. You have to learn to shut off the logical part of your brain just for a split second. That split second will buy you enough time to put your feet in motion towards the girl without weighing the consequences. The way this is done is by following the 3 second rule (credit:Mystery) which states that you must approach the women you want to meet within in the first 3 seconds of noticing her. By doing this, you are “living in the now” and bypassing your logical thought process. Further, enabling you to move without thinking until you are already talking to the group. Which leads to the next step.
Lately there has been much debate about opening on regards to the best ways to open. I don’t see why this is namely because opening is one of the easiest things to do in the game of attraction. In opening, there are two general styles of opening. There is direct and indirect opening. Direct opening is consists of walking directly to the women you wish to meet and directly stating your intent. You might say something like “I wanted to come meet you” or “Hi, I’m Dthomas.” You can find some different variations of these openers in our openers section. Prior to opening, it is important to know your target (The woman you are interested in). This is important so that you can focus on winning over her friends so that later you can isolate her and begin to establish a real connection.
Direct openers are often used when inner game is solid and intact. Recognize that too many guys come in direct, with lines like “can I buy you a drink?” or ‘you are so beautiful!” These are pointless, overused, and simply do not work.. Additionally, because so many guys approach women with these kind of lines, women are often skeptical of direct approaches. However, as mentioned previously, with the right internal game and confidence, you can come in approach directly. You might say something like ‘I can’t believe it, I’ve been standing here for like 2 minutes and you haven’t even tried to hit on me or grab my ass or anything. So what’s the deal?”
For those just getting started, indirect openers are probably more suitable. Indirect openers are different in only one respect. What you say in an indirect opener has absolutely no sexual connotations or hints that you are interested them. This is probably the most important factor in all of meeting women. In fact about 95 %guys commit this error out when first getting out in the playing field. They show too much intent and the women immediately dismiss them as “creepy” guys trying to pick up girls. Going in indirect is a way to avoid that. One way to go in indirect is by having a (what seems to be)spontaneous question that you are trying to figure out. These are termed opinion openers and many can be found on the Openers sections. An example of an opinion is “Hey guys I’m throwing a bachelor party next weekend for my buddy and wants to get strippers. which is fine with me. But I get a call today from his fiance and she’s like “you cannot get him strippers what so ever. So I’m torn. Shouldn’t a guy be able to get strippers before he gets married?” It is easy to construct your own opinion openers. Constructing and opinion opener really requires just two basic steps: 1) Think of question that women would be interested in yet does not have a definite answer 2) Apply context to why you are asking the question (ie. “the only reason I ask is because….”) Easy right…
Another way to open indirectly is to comment about something in the surrounding area. “omg…This music is sooo loud!” is a good example. These types of openers are termed situational openers and are optimal for preventing a “non-creepy” vibe while at the same time maintaining the “spontaneous” vibe in the conversation. However, it must be noted that when using a situational opener, you get a much smaller window for creating conversation. The girl is likely to only respond to your comment which leaves the rest up to you to keep it going. Note: When opening a set be sure to address every single person in the set. Just picture projecting your voice to the middle of the group. This avoids isolating one girl while having her friends quickly pull her away. After we have opened the set there is one more thing that needs to be done to lock down the group in open conversation. You must alleviate the tiny voice in their heads saying “how long you are you going to stick around?” You can alleviate this distress in two ways. You can adjust your body language to appear as if you can’t stay long. For example turning your body frame away from the girls while looking at them over your shoulder. And you can also literally tell them “I can only stay for a second, I have to get back to my friends.” or something of a similar nature. This has been termed False Time Constraint or FTC (credit:Mystery) In either case, it is important to do this at least once or twice in the first 3-4 minutes. Once you have engaged the whole set, you want move away from the opener as quickly as possible. The longer you keep your opener going, the harder it is to transition the attraction phase
Attract
“Whenever you talk with a an attractive women, ask yourself, am I talking to her emotions?”
After you have successfully opened a set you want to start building attraction and getting the set emotionally affected by you. This is can be done a multitude of ways. But no matter what you do, you have to display the characteristics of an attractive male. Look on any seduction site or ebook and they will describe to you “the way” which is basically “their” way and not necessarily the best description of an attractive male. After reviewing, creating and reinventing what it meant to be an attractive male, I found a great description written by Neil Strauss who calls it the LAS VEGAS qualities.
L.a.s. V.e.g.a.s. Attributes (Neil Strauss)
Women love fun games. They are fun and more interesting than the barrage of boring questions every other guy is asking. We have put together some Attraction Building Routines.
Teasing girls is a great way to get attraction. When you tease with sarcasm, irony and playful insult, you are communicating to the female emotional brain thus are going to create feelings in her toward you. . Of course you must be careful not to tease too hard to the point where the girl/s are offended. Then those feelings you are creating are going to be negative and unproductive. This can be avoided simply by 1) keeping a playful, fun, non-threatening demeanor and 2) not waiting to see if you get a reaction from her/them. Seeking a reaction in any situation in Pick-up is a signal of neediness and can often be met with hostility and contempt.
Another great way to build attraction is using future projections. Future projection are short, off the wall, funny descriptions of what you could be doing with the set. Here is an excellent future projection:
Omg, you are such a fun girl. But you know what, this just isn’t going to work. We’ll talk and totally hit it off. And knowing my funness paired up with your funness will like create this super vortex of fun power. And we’ll be able to go around dancing (start dancing hand in hand kino) like this and bring fun to wherever we go. But then people will start to catch on like “who are these superheros bringing all this crazy energy?”. And they’ll try to capture us and we’ll have to go our separate ways in hiding to avoid getting caught,. And we can’t have that.
When delivered right, they are fun and creative. They allow a window to physically touch them. And they plant an image of you and them in their minds thus further linking the “thought” of you with them.
The power of physical touch also termed KINO (short for kinesthetic) is by far the most powerful attraction tool you have. When you touch someone you are physically connected to them even if for a very short duration. It amps attraction as well builds comfort and trust between you and the person you are touching. It also demonstrates you are comfortable enough with yourself to touch others. And the best part is, is that it is extremely easy and applicable in any situation. Even when used alone, it requires no memorized routines or alterations of social dynamics. You are basically going to become just a naturally touchy guy who touches everyone.
From the moment you meet a woman you can apply touch either through fake punching/hitting (playfully), through routines, through stories, group hugs, handshakes, arm around and the list goes on. As long as you your doing all the previous steps correctly, there is really no limit to amount of touch you can apply. In fact it is not uncommon to find a PUA making out with a girl in the first 4-5 minutes of meeting her. There are also a variety of routines that use KINO in a natural, non-creepy, fun way. Kino - The Art of Touch.
This is the concept of what the mainstream might call “playing hard to get” or push/pull. Once you have displayed enough value and the girl/s are giving you indicators of interest, you can verbally push the set away just slightly. This might be in the first 30 seconds or it might be 5 minutes in. It all depends on how much value you come in with and how early the group becomes receptive to you. Regardless, this is most easily performed with verbal language. You are going to drop in little Prize-bites like “your going to lose me here in a sec” “I don’t know if I can be seen with you guys.” ‘I’m way too high maintenance. “You’ve gotta wine and dine me.” “I never put out on the first date.” “Girls say I’m kind of a prude when it comes to hooking up.” “Buy me a drink before you hit on me.”(credit: Mystery) If she touches you, you can say “wow, hands off the merchandise, this shit ain’t for free.” (credit: Style). Saying anything that a high maintenance girl might communicate to a guy is a good Prize-bite. And what it will do is communicate that you are a prize and expected to be treated like one. As a result, the girl/s will start chasing you and fighting for your attention and affection. Once you’ve got your target girl pining for your attention, it is time to move into the comfort phase.
Connect
Just because a girl is attracted to you does not mean she will sleep with you, date you, or answer your phone calls. Attraction is an emotion and women’s emotions can change like the wind. In the comfort phase you are going to build a sense of emotional connection, emotional investment and trust. This is done through both your words and your touch. But first things first you are going to get your target girl by herself so you can have a one-on-one conversation with her.
Getting a girl away from her friends can be tricky especially if she has protective friends. And generally they have a right to be protective. They’ve seen how creepy a lot of guys can be. The trick is gaining the trust of the whole group and not just your target. If they like you, they won’t see a problem with you taking her over to a quieter area in the venue to talk. A simple “hey I’m going show you something cool but let’s go over there it’s too loud to talk right here“ will work. You could even say “Do guys mind if I borrow her for a second?” And “hey I want to show you something cool over here.” is good as well. Anything like this will get the girl away from her friends and talking solely to you.
Once you have isolated your target girl you can lean back and start to build a deeper, more intimate connection. This is also where you can share some of your personal stories. Remember, displaying a slight amount of vulnerability deepens that emotional bond between you and your girl. You will also to ask her questions that will let you get to know her better. Stay away from yes-no questions and other boring questions such as “where are you from?” or “what do you do for work?” Ask questions that really make her think and let you into her world. An example might be “what did you want to be when you seven?” or “if you could have any super power what would it be?” These questions get her thinking and will provide a more detailed account of who she is as a person. (See: Comfort Building Routines and Trust and Comfort Questions)
There will come a point when you want to get her qualifying herself to you. You have shown, you are an attractive male who possesses extremely attractive qualities. You have started to share a deeper, more emotional side to her. But for her to feel the same connection, she also has to feel like she has shared a part of herself with you. If it is only you who is sharing intimate details in your life and who you are, she may feel affection but she won’t necessarily feel connected. Only when you are both sharing and revealing the commonalities you share, will she feel a deeper embedded connectedness. Getting her to share about herself also has other benefits. When she opens up to you, she will have made an emotional investment in you. Just like when a poker player gets an incredible hand. The more chips he throws into the pot, the more invested he becomes in the hand he is playing. And similarly with your girl, the more she shares intimate details about her, the more likely she will want to see where it goes. Another benefit of her sharing details about herself, is that it provides room for you to give her value via compliments and kino. This is elaborated on in the following segment.
During this phase of really getting to know her, you are going to start amping up your physical escalations. You can start by taking her hand and holding it. And then move to putting your arm around her and then eventually going for the kiss. By trying to engage in these physical acts, you are also expecting that she will accept your physical move. If you have done everything right up to this point, she should comply. However there is always a chance she might not. Occasionally girls get squirmy when it comes to public displays of affection. She might turn and give you her cheek when you try and kiss her. She might let go of your hand when you try and hold hers. So one way to escalate successfully every time is to pair a compliment with your physical request. This concept was popularized by Mehow (who performs this flawlessly). When it comes to the point where you want to get her to do or accept anything you want, you simply are going to compliment her right before you make your request whether that be a physical request or a direct request.
Here are a few examples: “You are so unbelievably amazing. Come here.” *hug* “You are so awesome.” *kiss* In the first example, you are complimenting them, boosting their esteem and then following with a direct request (in this case a command). They will always comply when the compliments is legitimized and sincere. Telling her how amazing she is when she hasn’t done anything significant to get that compliment will come off contrived and appear as if you are trying to get something from her. This is another reason why getting her to qualify herself to you is so important. Only when she has given you something to compliment her on, should you do so. Your task is listening to her and picking out things to compliment her on.
The Kiss You will not get a kiss if she is not ready to give you one. If you find yourself consistently getting denied the kiss, it is very likely you are making mistakes earlier in your game and not with how you are asking for it. One simple way to let her know you would like to kiss her is by saying: “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now”
You aren’t asking if you can kiss her. But she will let you know if she wants you to or not by saying something like “why” (green light) or “yea, that’s probably best” (yellow/red light). If she denies your passive request here, you can push her away slightly with teasing. Or you can passively punish her by leaning out and away and appearing as if you are losing interest in her. If she has emotionally invested enough into you, she will always come back, reinitiate and ultimately be more willing to accept your physical invitation. From there it is just repeating the kiss attempt. In terms of physical connection, the purpose of the kiss is never to get her aroused or thinking sexually. It is merely to deepen the emotional connection and get kissing out of the way. DO NOT escalate farther than making out with a girl until you are in a seduction location (a residence, house, apt).
If you find yourself getting carried away, take a step backwards, stop and simply say “wow, we need to slow this down”. Not only will she will appreciate your sense of self control, she will be more inclined to ‘seduce’ you when the time comes. At this point in the game, there are a couple different roads you can take. You can.. a) Take her phone number and plan for a day 2 b) Take her home that night c) Tell her goodbye and hope you guys meet again Ok, so hopefully you won’t take option C. But at least you have the option When asking for a girls phone number avoid the basic yes or no “can I have your phone number?”
It is much better if is her idea but you plant the seed with a question like “how can we continue this?”. If you have connected with her on this seeded plan enough she will most likely suggest for you to take her number. (Other phone number closes). Always talk to her for a bit after you get her phone number. If you leave right after you get it, you run the risk of coming off like you had an agenda. Keep it going after you get her number, tell another story, make her laugh. She will appreciate it.
Seeding Conversation with Plan For getting her back to your place or to her place you are going to need an excuse. You simply can’t say, “we like each other. let’s go back to my house and get it on.” She hasn’t known you that long and her cultural programming has taught her that “being easy” makes her slutty and ultimately looked down upon. She wants to go home with you but she doesn’t want to appear as a slut. Furthermore, she wants you to create an excuse so that the blame is taken off her for ‘accidentally’ hooking up with you. You can do this by seeding the conversation with a plan. For an especially attractive woman, you can seed the conversation with a plan without inviting her along. Give her time to think that what you are planning to do without being invited, she will be more inclined to accept an offer to go with you once you spontaneously invite her to tag along with you. A simple plan seed is: You: Hey do like Family Guy?” Her: OMG..I love that. You: (enthusiastically) omg, I just got the new dvd. You should come watch it with me. Her: ok Note: Notice I’m not asking her to come back. I am telling her what she ‘should’ do. This is important.
Seduce
I have a confession to make. I hate the word seduction. It is often associated with someone who is an evil manipulator who coerces women into bed. This is not what Attractology teaches nor condones. Seduction as defined by Attractology as a consensual connected dance between two people that consequently ends up in a sexual relationship. But like any dance someone is taking the lead. The person taking the lead is going to be the man. Women expect a man to lead them. You are the man, so act like one. This does not mean doing something against her will. It means you are going to take a step forward and wait for her to follow. If she accepts your physical advance, you take the next step. And so on and so forth. David DeAngelo, creator of Double Your Dating came up with an amazing concept called “two steps forward, one step back.’ Being the leader you are and setting the pace, you are not always going to want move directly forward. In fact it is best to advance physical escalation and then pull back just slightly. After you kiss a girl, pull back and say “wow, we should slow this down.” and then continue kissing her. Then go a bit further and repeat the cycle.
Having a strong sense of self control is going to help you immensely at this stage. This is because the creation of sensual and sexual connection can be surmounted to one word: anticipation. Anticipation builds suspense. It warrants excitement of not knowing what is going to happen next if anything at all. Have you ever noticed that once a fantasy becomes a reality, the novelty dissipates. We must keep the fantasy alive as long as possible by always leaving just a little bit more to be desired. Nibbling her earlobe just enough to make her gasp and then pulling back. Rubbing your fingers around her vagina but not going inside. Giving her soft, gently kisses on her belly and moving down to her panties. The longer and slower you take to do something, the better. Of course don’t go overboard with this concept. If you caress her breasts for 3 hours, she’ll most likely get bored which will kill her mood. It is best to move progressively starting with kissing and move to making out and then to caressing the breasts. Then move to touching around her vagina. Then move to touching inside her vagina. Then move to kissing her lower body and then to cunnilingus. And just when she can’t take it anymore, then we move to the act of sex. This is an extremely shrewd and cut down version of sex. |
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Read on about Attraction Building Routines. |
