Negative Belief Reconstruction
In psychology there is a term you may have heard of; self fulfilling prophesy. A self fulfilling prophesy is the idea that you will become what you think you are, good or bad. For instance, if I were to believe that I can never hold a job and nobody will respect me, I will turn that into my reality by catering my behaviors to these expectations. Thus getting exactly what I thought I would.
Well, this can work in the opposite, positive, direction as well. If I sincerely believe that I am highly competent and successful, then I will exude behavior that will bring me success down the road. This concept is one of the most widely cherished among popular psychology, weaving it’s way as the “Secret” or the law of attraction, etc. The concept has been taken to a new age science where they’ve veiled it more as a phenomena rather than a science. The psychological explanation is much more logical. The way a self fulfilling prophesy works is that when we encounter something in our world, we subconsciously appraise it. This appraisal leads to a core belief.
A young boy is out playing when a bee lands on his arm for the first time. And it stings him. In his initial appraisal of bees, he has associated bees with pain. And therefore he may form his first core belief that bees are bad and need to be avoided. Not only will he associate bees as negative for himself, he will hold a more general belief that others hate bees and that bees don’t do anything positive in the world.
Once we have an inner belief, we behave in accordance with it. The next time the boy sees a bee, he behaves in a way that is congruent with his negative belief and most likely he will swat at the bee. This in turn likely provokes the bee into stinging him yet again despite the external efforts to prevent it. Although this is a very simplistic case of a self fulfilling prophesy, it is a good way to explain the process of how we construct our own reality and control our own destiny.
Changing Your Behavior
Now if you are going to want to change your behavior towards specific encounters in your life, you are going to need to reconstruct your core belief system either by doing it directly or changing your system of appraisal.
Now with women, if you are to succeed with women, you are going to need to remove your core belief about them and replace it with one that is 100% in your favor of creating success for you. This must be done of course by changing our core belief about beautiful women. Namely unveiling the two sub beliefs regarding your interaction with world, self and beautiful women. Well there are a couple ways of to doing this. Internally or externally.
Internal Belief Reconstruction
The first step to destroying a negative core belief is acceptance. We have to accept we are fallible, and subject to error. We must accept our minds are no different and we make cognitive errors that have the potential to be unproductive and inhibiting. Can you accept this? You must because it is complete 100% truth. Even your memories believe it not are incomplete. In fact, most studies conducted by University Of Washington Psych Professor Elizabeth F. Loftus revealed that false memories could be created as simply suggesting them.
The next step is consciously dismantling your inner belief you have regarding your interaction with women. This can be performed many ways but the easiest way (and the way to avoid expensive therapists)is to write out your logical process for why you have accepted this belief. In a sense this is retracing the steps and finding out where your mind made the jump or cognitive error in logic.
Take Johnn for Example…
I do not have attractive qualities.
Ever since I was young girls have not paid much attention to me. As you can imagine, I have not yet had a girlfriend. I see other people my age and they have attractive girlfriends. I do not. Therefore, I do not have attractive qualities.
Some of you may have had a similar experience to Johnny. But as you read, were you able to see where he made the cognitive error. There is a jump between a series of specific “indications” and then a broad generalization. If he replaced his belief with attraction can be learned. In the past I was often shy around people I didn’t know. This may be due to the fact that I was shy and did not go talk to them. I see other people attractive.
Another way to dismantle negative core beliefs is to consciously repeat affirmations. This is simply taking advantage of our imperfect minds. When we tell our mind something enough times, we will start to believe it
- I am extremely attractive
- I am the best looking person in the world
- I am charming beyond measure
Repeating affirmations such as these every day in front of the mirror will significantly help you with becoming a more attractive individual. Warning: the effect of doing this often more topical and short lived unless it accompanied with success which will indefinitely dismantle you negative core belief
External Believe Reconstruction
This is achieved by actually getting out and having success. With success, you will reappraise your core believes and implant new more favorable core beliefs. Ultimately, once you replace your negative core beliefs with favorable, attractive beliefs, this will propel you into a looped, positive self fulfilling prophesy of getting what you want in the end.