In order for you to be able to attract women, you have to meet them. I know, crazy right? Wrong!  Seeing that society is still built around the concept of men courting women and not the other way around, don’t expect for women to come knocking on your door in search of a boyfriend, lover, etc. Unless it’s via Craigslist, in which case, that’s whole different ball game. Waiting around for a women to approach you is like waiting to win the lottery. It could happen but it’s very unlikely.  The difference is, unlike the lottery, you have control.  So rather than wait, start by:

1. Going out where women are
2. Without putting pressure on the outcome, try to start a casual conversation.

Approaching women can feel like one of the hardest things to do. As men, when we see a beautiful standing amongst a group of our peers, we get what has been termed approach anxiety. The butterflies, yes, that’s them.  This is physiological response that will often come in the form of that little voice in your head reminding you “Don’t do it, it’s not safe!” This response will cripple you if you don’t know how to combat it.

Has approach anxiety ever happened to you?

You see a women you want to meet. You start to take your first step in her direction and instantly you start analyzing the ways in which it can go wrong and the ways you could be rejected. This creates the churning feeling in the pit of your stomach that lets you physically know you are vulnerable. Rather than embracing your vulnerability you decide to salvage your pride and not approach. To top it off, you do what we call ‘backward rationalizing by immediately telling yourself “I’ll approach next time” or “she probably has a boyfriend.”  Truth is, she could’ve been waiting for you to sweep her off her feet.

In thinking about approaching you are accessing the logical, neo-cortical part of your brain which triggers an emotional response. You have to learn to shut off the logical part of your brain just for a split second. That split second will buy you enough time to put your feet in motion towards the girl without weighing the consequences.  

Try this.

The 3 second rule coined by Mystery. Approach a women you want to meet within in the first 3 seconds of noticing her. This will allow you to “live in the now” bypassing the logical thought process enabling you to move without thinking until you are already talking to the group. Start your day off by conversing with the first person you see.  Forcing yourself to talk to the first people you see will be a warm up for the rest of the day, creating a ripple that will build the momentum to your other conversations. Becoming socially savvy is the result of interacting with people on a very regular basis. The 3 second rule is made up to expedite the learning process.

Learn more about approach anxiety and how to get past it using our Ego Dissolution techniques in Foundations