Understanding Attraction

Social scientists have dissected the way human beings become attracted to one another by judging body language. After all, body language is over 55 % of all communication. What the scientists have found is that sexual interest can be judged on an axis of cues termed “contact readiness cues.” Interestingly enough these cues were not only observed in north American subjects but in different cultures as well. Ethnologist Eibl Eibesfeldt filmed African tribes in the 1960’s and found nearly the exact same contact readiness cues as were found in the United States.

So how do you tell if a women is attracted to you?

Body Position

A women’s body positioning is a fairly strong representation of how interested a women is in what you are saying or communicating. More specifically the direction that her shoulders and legs are facing. If both shoulders are facing towards you, it is safe to say she is engaged in the communication between you to. Similarly, it has been found that when a women’s legs are crossed towards you, she is displaying her interest

Raised Eyebrows

Though a subtle cue, women and men will often raise their eyebrows when they see or hear something that catches their interest.

Head Tilt

Women will often tilt their heads when they become attracted and engaged in what a man is communicating. Though, it is often non-deliberate, women are making an effort to expose their necks, which observed through an evolutionary lens displays a very desirable characteristic.

Prolonged Eye Contact

When a women becomes attracted, her entire focus tends to tune out peripheral noise and hone in on what a man is communicating to her. This is extremely evident in her eyes. When a women becomes attracted to a man, she will hold his gaze just a bit longer than normal. Her pupils will also become more dilated than normal.

Leaning

When a women becomes attracted to a man she will tend to lean towards him when is speaking. This is why it is important for a man to lean back when communicating with a women. This will naturally make the women more inclined to engage in this contact readiness cue.

Playing with Hair

Women will often non-deliberately flip and throw their hair when they become attracted to a man. This too has roots in evolution and allows a women to show off her femininity aka longer hair.

Palms

Another sign a women is attracted or at least engaged into what a man is communicating is if her palms are open rather than closed. Open palms is an external sign of internal, emotional receptivity.

Voice Intonation

Just as men unconsciously tend to add bass to their voice when speaking with a women they are attracted to, women do the same. The only difference is that women tend to make their voices higher, which lets the man know they have plenty of estrogen and are a viable source of offspring.

Verbal Inquisition

One of the most obvious indications that a women is interested in a man is if she starts asking a man leading questions about his life. More often than not, she is non-deliberately qualifying or screening him as a potential partner.

Physical Contact

The more a women touches you in any way, is a very strong indication that is attracted and interested in you. It may be a subtle brush on the arm or it may be as obvious as her grabbing and holding your hand. Anything in between is a strong indication that she is attracted to you

Appraising Contact Readiness

Be careful when you appraise contact readiness cues. Body language cues can often be hard to decipher and may not exactly determine if she is attracted to you or not. This is why it is important to follow the stop lights.

  • Green light - If you see a cluster of three to four contact readiness cues, it is safe to say she is attracted to you.
  • Yellow light - If you are seeing 1 or 2 contact readiness cues, don’t steer off course but rather proceed with caution.
  • Red light - If you see zero contact readiness cues, you might want to rethink your game plan and take the interaction in a new direction.