We are all searching for something. For everyone, it’s something different, but I think it can be boiled down to two things: fun and fulfillment. Let me explain. We live our lives searching for fun, to have fun times, fun experiences, just creating fun memories. Stories that will serve us for the rest of our lives. Anyway, as time goes by, I believe there is a shift in what we really seek out. Fun will always be a vital element, but pretty soon fulfillment is what we are really after. The challenge I face as a coach, is finding a healthy balance between the two. Some people I work with are tired of all the partying, and really want to ease into a nice long-term relationship that is more fulfilling. While others, may be getting out of a serious relationship and are striving to re-establish themselves in the dating scene and start having more fun in their life.
Ask yourself, what am I really looking for right now? You may think you’re searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but in reality because you’re looking so hard for that person, or waiting for them to come along, you’re missing the fun you can be having as a strong, single, independent person. Conversely, if you’ve been in that long-term relationship for awhile, and it’s becoming a little stale, it may be time for a little relationship rejuvenation. Time to spark up some fun and spontaneity.
Here is the good news, it’s possible to have both. AND you can start doing it and feeling it right now. Think about something that would make you feel alive. What is it? It doesn’t take much before that buzz, that vitality is something we need more and more of. Can you sustain it? Can you sustain it in your relationship? You have to be inspired and motivated, so find out what it is that inspires and motivates you. It’s different for everyone. Here’s an example, let’s say you’re deathly afraid to fly, and you have an international trip planned in 6 months, airfare and accommodations purchased. Well, instead of just being terrified that you’ll be flying soon, what if you used that fear to make sure you start living your life to the fullest until the time you have to climb aboard that flight? We seem to find a lot more urgency in our lives when there is a deadline, and for a lot of us we forget that there is always a huge deadline looming, but we forget because we don’t exactly know when our time is up.
I challenge you to do this: live in the now, be present. If you want fun right now, then go out and get all you need, and if you are really looking for that something that fulfills you more than you have now, figure out what that is and go after it. Because there really is a deadline in life, and we are hurling towards it faster than we would like to believe. The point is whatever you’re looking for, do it with urgency and with abandon. You’ll never feel more alive.