(Q and A) How to Make the Right Move

Question

Hey Mason, about two years ago I met the love of my life, my true love and at the time I didn’t realize how I felt until I let him go. Long story short I had a boyfriend for fours that treated me like crap. I broke up with my BF of 4 years to be with my true love but I couldn’t even phantom how amazing he was cause I was so use to be treating badly. I broke my true love to be with my ex cause he said he had changed which was a total lie. Him I ended up breaking up officially. I have been single for about a year and a half and for a year and for a year I have thought about my true love every single day. So I have finally conjured up some courage and I faced booked him, asking him how he was doing and well that was a week and a half ago and were still chatting. How do I about express how I feel with out coming on strong? We kind of mention something about meeting up but it was vague, should I give him my number tell him to call me? Is it too soon? He’s not really putting that much out there.  I have already accepted all the circumstances. All I want is the chance to tell him how I feel, I just don’t know how.

Answer

Thank you Stephanie for your questions and concern, I think that you are on the right track!

It sounds like you had an unhealthy relationship (many people do), and found the courage to get out of it, so just for this you should give yourself a pat on the back.  I’ve seen several people get married into these relationships and spend 10-20 miserable years trying to get out of them and cannot.  When they do, they’ve lost their youth, and they struggle with the hardest and scariest forms of depression I’ve seen, so good on you!

So let’s get to the love shall we!  There’s no doubt that how you’re feeling is strong, and it’s also an amazing feeling too.  But, it’s also important for you to let it grow naturally.  When you met this guy while you were going through this rocky relationship there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m sure that this young man was holding the lantern.

However, his emotions may or may not be where yours are.  His experiences over the past four to five years have been completely different than yours, and we are all somewhat a product of our past: your feelings right now are a representation of what’s happened to you recently.  Simply put, I think that you should play this out slow and feel out how he feels in a subtle way first.

You may find out that he’s more into you than you originally had thought!  You will get your chance to tell him, but if you rush it, then he may not be able to hear it at the right way or in the right moment.  Timing is crucial.  Stephanie, be patient!  For now, just try and bring yourself back when you get lost thinking about him, and focus on what actually is going on between you.

The following two-three weeks are very important, and my advice is that you hold back this information until he’s made it obvious that he’s feeling the same way.  This information may seem a bit vague and you may be feeling a little lost, and this is natural, because right now you’re mind is probably running wild and you may need somebody to help you take the proper course.  There are some techniques, and some methods that I think you should do, but again, this is truly up to you.  Do you think that you can win his heart on your own?  I think so, but you need to go slow.

Be Bold,

Mason

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