A twenty four year old engineer named Jason orders himself a shot of Cuervo, and with a clumsy, backward head jerk, he manages to take the shot, while crashing into a freshly mixed mojito behind him.  Jason, whose head hurts from the combination of José and the impact of a glass, turns and sees Sonja, a tall, beautiful brunette, wearing an Ed Hardy top, topped with the remnants of her mixed mojito.  Jason apologizes, buys her another drink and in their brief interaction, the chemistry ignites, and for the rest of the night Jason and Sonja become lovestruck fools.  They spend all night together sharing drinks, laughs, and kisses.

Suddenly all of the doubt that Jason had in his past relationships, all of the problems that had been dragging him down in his work, in his school, and in his social life, seemed to disappear when he would think about this amazing new woman.  He wakes up in the morning, and can’t help but smile when he’s brushing his teeth, thinking about the great time that he had dancing the night away with Sonja in her mojito clad gown, and even though he had a million things going on that day, all that he wanted to do was see her again.

So he decides to listen to that little voice inside of his head, egging him to pick up his phone and call her.  She answers and Jason says  “I just want to tell you that I really like you Sonja, you’re amazing, I love you’re energy and attitude toward life, I’ve never met anybody like you, let’s hang out all day, every day, I promise I won’t spill on you again!”  They begin hanging out, and each day, Jason sinks deeper and deeper into his infatuation with Sonja.  Swept up by her beauty, Jason feels more alive than he ever has, so much so that he can hardly concentrate at work, sharing every juicy little detail of his feelings to his coworkers and to Sonja, but then something happens shortly afterward that catches him off guard.

A few weeks go by, and Sonja seems to be busy all of the time (much busier than before), and the busier that she gets, the more Jason wants to see her.  Pretty soon an entire week passes and he hasn’t spoken with her, so he picks up the phone and calls her again, and again, until he finds himself listening to her answering machine more than her actual voice.  It’s driving him crazy so he leaves her a message saying “I don’t know what I did wrong, but I miss you, and I’ll do anything to get you back.  Please call me, I’ll do whatever you want!”  Sadly, Jason never hears from her.   What Jason didn’t know was that he fell victim to love like so many people do, but got swept up in its storm and he SMOTHERED his way right on out of it!

And this is possibly the most devastating, ego-shattering, destructive thing that a man will go through in his life; having somebody that they genuinely connect with and watch them slip away without even knowing what went wrong.  It throws you into an array of emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, and confusion.  Not only does it feel like a dagger to the heart, the more days that eclipse from your last conversation is as if Cupid is sitting high up on a cloud, snickering while he twists the blade ever so slightly every time you see something that reminds you of her.  Jason goes to the bar where they met, orders a mojito, and grasps firmly onto the chest of his shirt, weak from heartache, he glances to the skies, “Cupid, you bastard!”

Well gents, cupids devilish cruelty can be put to rest for now.  This article unravels the secrets between being the ‘PERSISTENT GUY,’ and the ‘SMOTHERER.’  Find out which guy you are, and learn how to keep the one you love!

MASON FACTO numero uno: The process of falling for somebody should NOT be rushed.

‘The Smotherer’ is so consumed by the emotional tornado going on in his own head that he isn’t able to see the big picture.  Consumed with feelings of hope, doubt, floating between highs and lows, ‘the Smotherer’ is so overwhelmed by his emotions that he can’t wait to see if this woman is feeling the same way.  He wants her to calm this tornado that she threw him in, as if she were Zeus, controlling the winds of his emotions.  He asks her questions like “Do you like me? Would you ever get serious with somebody even if you just met them? What’s your view on marriage, and could you see yourself marrying somebody like me? Why didn’t you call/text me back? What did I do wrong, PLEASE PLEASE tell me!”

There is a certain attractive power that unpredictability holds over both men and women in the courtship process, and by showing her too quickly how you feel, you become exposed.  You might as well as strip down into your birthday suit, lay down in the fetal position and ask her to put you out of your misery.

If you watch a Texas Hold em’ game on television, and somebody at the table is dealt pocket rockets (aces), often times a great poker player will play it as if he had a mediocre hand, luring the other players in.  He doesn’t get eager, excited, or impulsive, instead he takes a deep breath and finds a natural calm, collected self.  Sure enough, when his opponents bite, he places his large stack of blue, yellow and red chips to the center of the table and splashes them over the pot.  When his opponents call him, there hearts skip a beat when he flips over the first ace, and when the second one shows, he stands up and says “Booyahh!” and they bow out shamelessly with their tails between their legs!  Imagine if he got really excited when he first saw the cards, jumping up in the air screaming “Woohoo” and immediately went all in.  The poker players’ ability to separate himself from his emotions, and see the big picture is the difference between winning a million dollars over a few blinds, and it is also the difference between keeping the one we love and scaring her away!

When it comes to timing; even though emotions may try to squeeze there way into our thought process, it’s important to take a step back and look at your position calm and collectively.  There will be a time to share how we feel, and that time will come naturally and should not be rushed.  Patience is one of the most important tools to develop when we’re beginning a relationship, and when we’re in one.  The guy who does things right, and is patient enough to let things fall into place will get the girl!

The next time you find yourself falling for that little voice telling you NOW NOW NOW, take a deep breath, and ask yourself “Will there be a time later, maybe a few weeks or months from now, that what I have to say, can be said naturally in a conversation with her?  Does she need to hear this right now?”

Now  the Persistent Guy’ knows what he wants and how to get it.  When it comes to women, when he starts to have feelings, he doesn’t expose them to her right away.  He makes an effort to see her, paying close attention to her schedule, finding a gap that the two might be able to share together, and doesn’t get frustrated if plans change.  He has a very different mentality than ‘The Smotherer.’  Instead of believing that if he doesn’t act NOW, then things will fall apart, the ‘The Persistent Guy’ has the belief that things will work out no matter what happens, and by keeping this mentality, it allows him to avoid becoming too emotionally involved in situations that are outside his control.  Fully embracing this mentality will make a situation that could be frustrating, into something that isn’t at all.

The Persistent Guy’ sees an opportunity, and without hesitation, he puts his feet into motion and goes for it.  Without expectation, and without resistance, he focuses on the target, aims, and fires.  Be careful though, persistence is not always a good thing, and can actually be unattractive if it’s taken too far.   For example, lets look at the case study of Sam.  Sam is a confident, outgoing, and intelligent young college student.  Sam goes out to the bars one night and after chatting with a fine young lady, they laugh, tell a few stories, and Sam’s convinced she’s interested, and maybe she is, but then the conversation lulls and she walks back over to her friends.

Instead of letting her go and picking up the conversation another night or at a later hour, Sam comes running after her, he reaches out and grabs her arm and says, “Where do you think you’re going? Come back and have a drink with me.”  Immediately she sees Sam, not as persistent, but as DESPERATE, and is immediately turned off.  Sorry Sam, you just $#!+ the bed and it doesn’t smell very good!  So strap on your diapers, because if you can see opportunities and learn how to act on them, know when to back off, and when to move forward, then you will $#!+ no more, and be one step closer to keeping the one you love.

When you find yourself chasing after a woman, try and see what kind of body language she is giving you.  If she is closed off, then chances are that your persistence has gone too far and the best course of action is to back off and go talk to her later.  Ask yourself “Am I being desperate, or persistent?”

MASON FACTO numero dos: The beginning stages of a relationship are always a little scary for both people, becoming vulnerable is not always a comfortable process, especially for men, so it should happen slowly and delicately.

The Smotherer’ acts as if he’s never fallen in love before, as if he’s been thrown into a position that is completely foreign and unfamiliar to him (and perhaps it is). However, he embraces this unfamiliarity as something that is fun and exciting, and expresses these feelings to the woman right away. “I know this is crazy, but I think I love you.” Her response, “Uh, dude, I’ve only known you for a week…” ‘The Smotherer’ makes the false belief that the woman he’s after is in the same position, unable to control her emotions, and thus he feels obligated to release her mind from this same chaos he’s experiencing by seeing her as often as he can, for as long as he can so that they both can become comfortable enough to confess their love for each other. This is a recipe for disaster.  By coming on so strong and so fast, he’s metaphorically just swaggered into a bar of skinheaded honkey tonks, and ordered Appletinis on the house saying “hey ya’ll, let’s sing a Taylor Swift song together in unison!”  He might as well put a sign on his forehead saying, “I’m freaking clueless!”

 Part II, coming soon!